Comments on: Sexism for racism not a good trade http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:33:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: DAB http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-19005 DAB Wed, 13 Sep 2006 08:48:07 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-19005 Sorry for the double posts, my pc is acting up. Sorry for the double posts, my pc is acting up.

]]> By: DAB http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-19004 DAB Wed, 13 Sep 2006 08:47:12 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-19004 "Don’t talk too much about asking a girl out with your friends since you’ll put the pussy on a pedestal. It’s just a girl..." IT'S just a girl??? Way to go SAM, you sound just like those serial killing freaks on CSI. Now I know where they get their inspiration from! “Don’t talk too much about asking a girl out with your friends since you’ll put the pussy on a pedestal. It’s just a girl…”

IT’S just a girl??? Way to go SAM, you sound just like those serial killing freaks on CSI. Now I know where they get their inspiration from!

]]> By: DAB http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-19003 DAB Wed, 13 Sep 2006 08:43:06 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-19003 "Don’t talk too much about asking a girl out with your friends since you’ll put the pussy on a pedestal. It’s just a girl..." THE pussy? IT'S just a girl??? I don't care if they are joking around or not “Don’t talk too much about asking a girl out with your friends since you’ll put the pussy on a pedestal. It’s just a girl…”

THE pussy? IT’S just a girl??? I don’t care if they are joking around or not

]]> By: ananymous http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-18865 ananymous Tue, 12 Sep 2006 00:47:21 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-18865 Tall only exist if there is short, tall with respect to who? to an ant? no! you feel tall which respect to others who are short!!! Tall only exist if there is short, tall with respect to who? to an ant? no! you feel tall which respect to others who are short!!!

]]> By: Merq http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17892 Merq Tue, 05 Sep 2006 22:28:57 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17892 Great post (and comments), LL! Great post (and comments), LL!

]]> By: Lyonside http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17879 Lyonside Tue, 05 Sep 2006 19:13:23 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17879 Heh. I have an aversion to any guy who calls himself a "nice guy."If you're a nice guy, it should be apparent, you shouldn't have to advertise it. Heh.

I have an aversion to any guy who calls himself a “nice guy.”If you’re a nice guy, it should be apparent, you shouldn’t have to advertise it.

]]> By: Ailurophile http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17860 Ailurophile Tue, 05 Sep 2006 16:13:02 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17860 "Ann: I apologize. Looking at what I wrote and reading what you wrote in reply, I realize that what I said was insensitive and clueless. The intersection of racism and sexism renders much of what ought to be a love relationship fraught with other issues in many cases, alas. I was, however, bothered by the article's "I wanna white trophy girlfriend to prove I'm a real man, cuz I'm a Niiiiice Guyyyy" attitude. It was suspicious that "dating out" was framed as "dating a white woman only." Reading the comments on dating/marriage is interesting. In particular, LL's remark that when a white man is sexist, that's seen as an individual attitude ("oh, that's just Larry, what a pig he is") whereas when an Asian man is sexist, that's a reflection on his whole culture ("oh, that Larry - what a pig - typical Asian man!"). It could be that non-Asian women buy into this and avoid Asian men for this reason. Of course, this raises the question of who, in relationships, does the choosing. I don't buy that women do all the choosing - it's a nice convenient way to blame women for being shallow - but of course, men don't do all the choosing either. Where there are racial gender gaps in dating/marriage there has to be some kind of social dynamic at play among both men and women. I just do not want to hear endless complaints about how shallow women are, how they only want tall/muscular/monied men. Plenty of short, skinny, poor men get married! The adenoidal drone of the "niiiiiiice guyyyy" and his eternal complaint that women only want jerks and that's why he can't get any is like fingernails on the chalkboard of my mind. Whatever the race! “Ann: I apologize. Looking at what I wrote and reading what you wrote in reply, I realize that what I said was insensitive and clueless.

The intersection of racism and sexism renders much of what ought to be a love relationship fraught with other issues in many cases, alas. I was, however, bothered by the article’s “I wanna white trophy girlfriend to prove I’m a real man, cuz I’m a Niiiiice Guyyyy” attitude. It was suspicious that “dating out” was framed as “dating a white woman only.”

Reading the comments on dating/marriage is interesting. In particular, LL’s remark that when a white man is sexist, that’s seen as an individual attitude (”oh, that’s just Larry, what a pig he is”) whereas when an Asian man is sexist, that’s a reflection on his whole culture (”oh, that Larry - what a pig - typical Asian man!”).

It could be that non-Asian women buy into this and avoid Asian men for this reason. Of course, this raises the question of who, in relationships, does the choosing. I don’t buy that women do all the choosing - it’s a nice convenient way to blame women for being shallow - but of course, men don’t do all the choosing either. Where there are racial gender gaps in dating/marriage there has to be some kind of social dynamic at play among both men and women.

I just do not want to hear endless complaints about how shallow women are, how they only want tall/muscular/monied men. Plenty of short, skinny, poor men get married! The adenoidal drone of the “niiiiiiice guyyyy” and his eternal complaint that women only want jerks and that’s why he can’t get any is like fingernails on the chalkboard of my mind. Whatever the race!

]]> By: Gandalf Mantooth http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17855 Gandalf Mantooth Tue, 05 Sep 2006 14:58:52 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17855 LL: great stuff that. That's the Western world's view of AF out marrying pretty well summed up, and it is self-congratulatory. LL:

great stuff that. That’s the Western world’s view of AF out marrying pretty well summed up, and it is self-congratulatory.

]]> By: weigooksaram http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17850 weigooksaram Tue, 05 Sep 2006 14:28:18 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17850 I am *not* saying that white people aren't sexist. My dad, for example, is really sexist. What I'm saying is that Asian parents (generally) expect a lot more of their kids and DILS than white parents do. When my SIL visits my parents, she is treated as a guest in the house would be, with deference and respect. My MIL she barks orders at me. I'm not complaining. That's just how it is. When I talk about cultural expectations, I am speaking from personal experience. I am a white woman married to an Asian man. I love my husband very much and I do not regret marrying him at all, but at the same time when I got married I didn't really understand what it meant to be a daughter-in-law in an Asian family. Yes, I'm speaking in generalizations, and no it's not true for everyone, but it is for many of us. I am *not* saying that white people aren’t sexist. My dad, for example, is really sexist. What I’m saying is that Asian parents (generally) expect a lot more of their kids and DILS than white parents do. When my SIL visits my parents, she is treated as a guest in the house would be, with deference and respect. My MIL she barks orders at me. I’m not complaining. That’s just how it is.

When I talk about cultural expectations, I am speaking from personal experience. I am a white woman married to an Asian man. I love my husband very much and I do not regret marrying him at all, but at the same time when I got married I didn’t really understand what it meant to be a daughter-in-law in an Asian family. Yes, I’m speaking in generalizations, and no it’s not true for everyone, but it is for many of us.

]]> By: Luke http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17836 Luke Tue, 05 Sep 2006 12:53:43 +0000 http://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/09/04/sexism-for-racism-not-a-good-trade/#comment-17836 Apologies for the mistake, "Anonymous." I did read the full article and everything she wrote, beyond some obvious statements about media representations, I still think is full of crap. The Newsweek article isn't anything great either so it's basically crap about more garbage. If I don't like that sentence, you want me to just ignore it and read on? "Oh honey, just eat around the green peas, I promise it's good for you!" I would appreciate it if you could refrain yourself from talking down to me. Apologies for the mistake, “Anonymous.”

I did read the full article and everything she wrote, beyond some obvious statements about media representations, I still think is full of crap. The Newsweek article isn’t anything great either so it’s basically crap about more garbage.

If I don’t like that sentence, you want me to just ignore it and read on? “Oh honey, just eat around the green peas, I promise it’s good for you!” I would appreciate it if you could refrain yourself from talking down to me.

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