“Hedonism without judgment”
JC
I have been wanting to see the newly released flick, Heading South, for some time now. It’s the story of 40 and 50 year old women who head to Haiti in the 1970s for some fun in the sun and for flings with the locals. The New York Times reviews and (not surprisingly), spends little time on the disturbing messages around race and class — after mentioning those, it focuses mostly on giving the film some fake feminist spin. Unbelievable. “Look, it’s great! These 50 year old women are getting busy with naught a care in the world!” Wow. Are we supposed to be happy for them? Weak.
The women in the film, in their late 40’s and 50’s, are spending a vacation at a resort where impoverished local beach boys serve as holiday gigolos. The teenagers devote themselves to nourishing the women’s starved libidos in exchange for food, gifts and temporary refuge from the perils of the island’s repressive regime.
Instead of passively drifting into a future of unwilled celibacy, however, Ellen and the other American women seek satisfaction in exotic places. A few viewers were put off by such desperate measures — with their implication of the exploitation of the black Haitian teenagers — and by the neediness of the women. But others supported the film’s message that a woman has a right to seek pleasure where she can find it. “Single older women need to find a place to have sex,’’ said one filmgoer in her late 50’s who lives on the East Side but did not want to give her name. “If you’re at this point in your life, and you have needs, and you can make yourself feel good or whole, go for it, so long as you don’t hurt anyone.’’
Alright. Well at least a few viewers were bothered by it all. What is disturbing to me is that it seems that these women *are* hurting people. Last I checked, waving around your money and wealth for some thrills with teenagers is actually pretty harmful. And you know, I am sick of double standards no matter which way they go. If these were old, horny white men taking advantage of teenaged Haitian girls, we would be losing our stuff right now (or so I would hope). But because the predators are women, what?! We are saying go for it as long as you are careful? Are you kidding me?! To me, it’s all bad. This is an abuse of power and I can’t believe that this really happen(s)/(ed) in real life. Who gets to be hedonistic without judgment? Ok, usually not 50 year old women, but does that mean they should then go and get theirs no matter what the cost?!
And to top it all off, the lead character is supposed to be a professor from Wellesley, my alma mater. Why do the Wellesley women always have to be portrayed as feminist, but in an inappropriate/crazy way? 
(This is not meant to elicit *any* comments whatsoever about me) 
Well, so that I can really back my rantings, I am going to go see this movie…will report back. 
Lyonside wrote:
Ugh - another subtle anti-feminist movie.
“Anti” because it seems to equate female sexuality with manipulation, selfishness, and in this case, predatory inappropriate behavior.
Oh, and with a nice dose of racism thrown in. If this was written/directed by a man, I can see what’s going on here. If it was written/directed by a woman, well, then you can see how much work still needs to be done.
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 9:13 am ¶
mtevc wrote:
so feminism is when you can pass the subservience off on someone else…this is a dangerous message underlying a ton of white so-called feminist writers today…there was a wonderful book written a few years back about how the subjugation of black, and then caribbean and hispanic women helped to fuel the “return to work” and equality for many white women…
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 10:11 am ¶
Lyonside wrote:
Mtevc: If you remember that book, please let us know - sounds interesting…
I remmeber something like that hitting the media circuits (maybe because of the book), such as NPR, where basically, what is seen as a “choice” for upper middle class, mostly white, women, has always been a necessity for lower to middle class, mostly women of color - working outside of the home.
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 11:52 am ¶
Ailurophile wrote:
Lyonside - that book was either written or edited by the always wonderful Barbara Ehrenreich, and was a spin-off of her Atlantic Monthly article “Maid to Order.” Her Marxist point was basically that carework is devalued and farmed out to poor women of color so that white women can go off to work, both because white men are not picking up the carework slack and the capitalist system devalues carework.
Re the film: Why is it that older white women seem to be presented with two unappetizing choices: Exploit poor young men of color as prostitutes or lead a life of dreary celibacy? This really *is* of a piece with grody male sex-tourists who complain that women don’t waaaaaaant them so they have no choice but to boink some poor trafficked teenage girl in an impoverished country. That’s not feminist, that’s not an exploration of older women’s sexuality a-la Jane Juska’s “Round-Heeled Woman” (which is a feminist and affirming book). That’s pathetic. As well as very misleading; most older women are not sex-tourists nor do they lead dreary, sexless lives.
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 12:17 pm ¶
site admin wrote:
Lyonside and Ailurophile, Naomi Wolf’s excellent book “Misconceptions: Truth, Lies, and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood” also delves into this a little bit. Basically, pointing out that in order for a white woman to rejoin the workforce, it usually means a non-white woman is taking care of the white kids, often at the expense of her own children. The book is great, I highly recommend it. –CVK
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 12:32 pm ¶
gatamala wrote:
good point mtvec
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 3:15 pm ¶
mtevc wrote:
definitely not barbara ehrenreich…i have to dig in my garage, as i review books…and i have a ton…the mind is getting fuzzy…will look for it…but there was a snippet of the book run as a magazine article in atlantic monthly…on the same token, you have to read the article in New York Magazine (not New Yorker) on being a mommy…i wanted to gag…
http://nymag.com/news/features/17668/index.html
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 3:32 pm ¶
Merq wrote:
Interesting. A friend of mine was just telling me about this movie (and the disturbingly blasé NYT review) a month ago.
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 5:18 pm ¶
site admin wrote:
Merq, ok. Thanks for calling us out. Yea, this was a bit delayed.
Oops! ~JC
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 6:26 pm ¶
Adrianna wrote:
I was excited at first about the movie cause it is set in my home country, but I was turn off about the whole Explotation of teenagers. It’s creepy that people who can’t get away with that kind crap in their country would travel that far to sleep with a minor. It makes you wander do you even know people at all. I mean If they are capable of exploiting minors, what other perverse thing are they capable of when they are not subject to the law of their own countries. That ’s why i beleive they should be thougher laws when it comes to the Exploitation of minors of color.
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 6:49 pm ¶
Anonymous wrote:
I remember a friend was criticizing Halle for the millionth time about Monster’s Ball while big upping Angela Bassett. I had to then remind her that Angie B. was problematic too. How Stella Got Her Groove Back gave off more than a whiff of so-called “liberating” female sex tourism vibes.
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 7:14 pm ¶
Merq wrote:
Jen:
Hahaha. Wasn’t the intention at all! Just found it interesting that you and my friend objected to the exact same things.
Posted 15 Aug 2006 at 8:19 pm ¶
Sabrina wrote:
What’s the difference between that movie and Shirley Valentine? Similar theme…only the guy was Greek.
If you ask me, some people just have a problem with the idea of a “woman of a certain age” who choose to travel alone or with only one other person. They get labelled “desperate” or “needy” whether or not they traveled for the sex…and I think that is so unfair!
Posted 16 Aug 2006 at 7:38 am ¶
Sabrina wrote:
just a clarification. I am NOT saying it is ok to have sex with teenagers. However if those “teenagers” are over the age of 18, they are legally adults…and then it is no one’s business! I doubt I’ll go see this movie, but I think some of you are probably reading stuff in there that probably isn’t there…
Posted 16 Aug 2006 at 8:01 am ¶
eric wrote:
Sabrina,
Its an issue of classism, egoism, shame and dependence.
Sex tourism is one of the most scary phenonema that exists in our world (imo) because in order to really engage in it, you need to really believe that the objects of your sexual desires are not actually equally human to yourself, but beneath you, explicitly there to fulfill your wants and desires.
I can’t speak for this movie, but the description clearly says
“The teenagers devote themselves to nourishing the women’s starved libidos in exchange for food, gifts and temporary refuge from the perils of the island’s repressive regime.”
This is much in the same way American/European men will flock to SE Asia and pay young women/girls to have sex with them in exchange for money that these young women/girls need to survive, ie eat/feed their familiies.
Posted 16 Aug 2006 at 1:12 pm ¶