How white are you?
CVK
(Thanks to Tami for this tip!) Someone out there is making racial stereotyping an equal opportunity thing. Apparently this bulletin has been making its rounds on MySpace.
You’re asked to check off the items that apply to you, multiply that number by 5, and that is your score for “how white” you are:
1. You went to a private school.
2. You watch the show Laguna Beach.
3. You watch the show American Idol.
4. You watch the show O.C
5. You don`t cheat on almost anything in school.
6. You live in the suburbs.
7. You know what a poncho is.
8. You have heard a song from Panic! At The Disco.
9. You shop at American Eagle/Aeropostale/Hollister/A&F
10. You have/had a dog that is NOT a pitbull.
11. You have owned more than 1 dog.
12. You bend the bill of your hat.
13. You own a pair of DC`s/etnies/vans.
14. You would get jumped if you said the “N” word.
15. You have lived in more than one house.
16. Your neighborhood is considered to be very nice.
17. You have nice hair.
18. You say the word DUDE a lot.
19. Your mom went to college.
20. You think cops are good.
21. You have absolutely no idea what twista is saying when he raps.
22. You have or have had a river/beach house.
23. You listen to rock.
24. You know who willie nelson is.
25. Your grandparents are over the age of 60.
26. Your parents give you money when you ask.

gatamala wrote:
I love “you don’t cheat on almost anything” I can’t figure out what that means. I think this speaks for itself..
Posted 21 Jul 2006 at 7:36 am ¶
Merq wrote:
Jen/Carmen:
Actually, no.
This isn’t “equal-opportunity stereotyping” at all! This is a cute, backhanded form of racism in itself.
1. You went to a private school.
5. You don`t cheat on almost anything in school.
10. You have/had a dog that is NOT a pitbull.
11. You have owned more than 1 dog.
15. You have lived in more than one house.
16. Your neighborhood is considered to be very nice.
17. You have nice hair.
19. Your mom went to college.
25. Your grandparents are over the age of 60.
26. Your parents give you money when you ask.
I think this is pretty OBVIOUSLY racist against all non-whites.
According to this dumbass test, I’m 70% white! NO WONDER I’M NOT IN JAIL, OR DODGING MY 5 BABY-MAMAS.
God bless fucking America.
Posted 21 Jul 2006 at 10:38 am ¶
Marsha wrote:
This survey is disgusting and full of stereotypes. It’s exactly the point that Carmen and Jen were talking about- the coded ways people talk about race. I’m surprised they didn’t put more obvious stuff in there like:
“Your eat watermellon.”
“You eat at KFC twice a week.”
“You own and expensive pair of Nikes.”
“You have a tatoo of a tear on your face.”
“Your bilingual.”
Posted 21 Jul 2006 at 10:40 am ¶
mtevc wrote:
nice catch merq! absolutely on target…and by the way…my grandparents are well over 60 (implying that us “ethnics” have babies in our teens…) and i’ve had a few dogs (non pit bulls…akc breeds…go figure)…i do know who panic at the disco is (but they suck wind…so go figure…these white folks must have horrible taste in music)…i have wild frizzy curly big hair…and it’s still really good and “nice” hair…wouldn’t trade it for the greasy stuff…i like me…i am currently living in the second house (that i bought) and my parents before me and their parents before them owned their own house (and they were all black or mixed race)…go figure
Posted 21 Jul 2006 at 12:06 pm ¶
site admin wrote:
Merq - I completely agree. I meant it sarcastically.
–CVK
Posted 21 Jul 2006 at 12:34 pm ¶
eric wrote:
Wow, looks like the only thing they missed was the triple bonus score “You watched Friends”
:/
Posted 21 Jul 2006 at 12:59 pm ¶
Dorothy wrote:
I can’t even verbalize how angry this makes me, but then that would add a line to the poll: “you don’t get pissed off when people are racist”… Being half African-American, I do, which I guess negates that I’m half white. This is the most ridiculous thing…
But this goes back to what one woman said in regards to the audience response to the Dave Chapelle pixie remarks.. to paraphrase, why are white stereotypes positive? Why is owning a second home, or living in the suburbs, or going to private school the copyrighted property of whites, while people of color (non-whites) get relegated to poverty and ignorance? And don’t even start me on the “good hair, bad hair” poll question. Whoever started this should have their MySpace “checked”. I’m all for freedom of speech, but disseminating ignorance really pushes my buttons!
Posted 21 Jul 2006 at 2:06 pm ¶
brad wrote:
Most “white stereotypes” are positive because they serve to reinforce white superiority, whether intellectually or morally. How is having grandparents over 60 a good thing? Frankly, it’s a modern development amongst most humans AND white Americans. In the 20th Century, the average American got married in her/his early twenties. In fact, the average lifespan of an American in the early 20th Century was somewhere between 46 and 53.
“Your mom went to college”? Doesn’t this speak volumes about the racist assumption that non-whites are ignorant and uneducated? BTW, the University of California now has a majority Asian-American enrollment since they’ve stopped affirmative action for whites that kept Asian-American enrollment down. Even more interesting, how many times have we read how Affirmative Action for blacks, Latinos, and Native Americans takes spots away from Asian-Americans. Doesn’t that reflect the belief that whites would automatically have some preferable status over Asian-Americans (as WASPs used to have over Jewish whites in the Ivy League)?
The overall effect of this kind of survey is to build up a smug sense of entitlement to a superior place in society: I’m white therefore I’m beautiful; I have good morals; I come from an educated family, etc., etc. This simply continues to belief that being white is the right thing.
Posted 21 Jul 2006 at 7:48 pm ¶
Ailurophile wrote:
I don’t even HAVE dogs! I have cats. I don’t know if that makes me not white or even whiter-than-thou and frowsy and eccentric to boot.
In other words, damn that test is stupid. And racist to boot. Managing to stereotype and insult just about everyone in one fell swoop.
Posted 22 Jul 2006 at 10:28 am ¶
Ben wrote:
This survey outlines a much more specific and widely-held definition of “white” than any I’ve seen. Does widely-held mean correct? Well, as an anti-racist I’d say no, but as a linguist I’d say yes. (For instance, the word “scan” used to mean “to examine closely” but now its more popular use is “to read hastily.”) Unfortunately, it’s not up to the American Committee on Racial and Ethnic Terminologies to define how we talk about race - it’s up to the people who use the words. Race is a social construction; language is too.
The authors of the survey relied on conventional wisdom about white people - especially their higher socioeconomic status and tastes in pop culture. And conventional wisdom is composed of generalizations, most of which lived a previous life as statistics. Generalizations are misleading, but statistics don’t have to be. It’s true that white people attend private school, live in suburbs, watch Seinfeld, and smoke Marlboro Lights at higher rates than non-whites. How do we know this? Because that’s how we ask the questions.
If we stop using race as a fundamental division of human beings, we’ll stop gathering statistics along racial lines, race-based stereotypes and generalizations will fade. But if we keep using race, we’re going to have to (continue to) accept a large set of inaccuracies because, any way you slice it, humans don’t fit neatly into a handful of groups.
Posted 23 Jul 2006 at 11:42 pm ¶
bertie wrote:
Couldn’t say it better Merq! although to be honest, I don’t think its equal opportunity stereotyping at all. This poll seems to define whiteness as the absence of black stereotypes exclusively, such as the “n” word comment, ownership of pitbulls, “nice” hair, twista’s rap reference, etc. But just in case anyone else feels left out–I’m sure there is more to come from this myspace moron to offend all.
Posted 24 Jul 2006 at 6:00 pm ¶