UK: tough to be in an Asian/Muslim and black, Afro-Caribbean couple
JC
An article in the Daily Mail explores the problems that still exist for interracial couples in the UK — interesting that this piece focuses specifically on couples that feature one Asian/Muslim partner, and one black/Afro-Caribbean partner. But I guess it makes sense when those are the two largest minority groups. Thanks to Tony for the tip!
Model Jordan Daniels-McKenzie, 25, is an Asian Muslim. She is married to accounts manager Faron, 28, whose parents are from Jamaica. The couple live in Willesden, North-West London. Jordan says:
Of course, we have experienced racism as a couple. When we walk through predominantly black areas in South London some of the Jamaican girls do a loud tutting noise which conveys disrespect at our union. It makes us uneasy and and it’s very wearing and sad to think that such prejudice exists. Our children will be brought up to believe in whatever they want and I hope we are proof that you can marry, successfully, across the cultural barrier.
Faron says:
Growing up, I had girlfriends from across the cultural divide. I suspect Mum would have liked me to marry a nice Christian Afro-Caribbean girl, but she has never been anything but welcoming to Jordan. In the wider community, however, there is still prejudice and my grandmother’s generation would have seen this as a real betrayal of my community and race. It makes me angry when the media reinforces stereotypes, but then the Afro-Caribbean community doesn’t help itself by singing rap and hip-hop songs about bitches and guns.I really hope that we are good role models - I view us as being above religion and cultural divides. We’d like our own children, but we are also talking about adopting a Chinese baby because we have a lot of love to give an unwanted child.
(Tangential sidenote: Why does it always have to be a Chinese baby specifically?)
The article continues on with two other couples. They have communicated that most of the intense pressure still comes from within the family. The whispers, looks, and hateful comments that come from strangers seem to be a mere backdrop. Still important, but much harder to deal with when you are trying to convince your own parents, siblings, and close friends to accept your significant other.
k jackson wrote:
First, I commend Faron and Jordan, you are definitely good role models in an unenlightened world. My wife and I dont receive that kind of negativity here in the US but I am sure there are many who do. Stay strong and support each other in whatever comes up. The world outside should have no influence on who you love and care for. Love each other and your children.
By the way, my wife(white american) and I( black american) are adopting from China in the winter of 2007. We are excited and we have so much love to give a child who leads a home and all the love a family can give. As for the question, Why specifically China? There are a myriad of reasons but several are the health of Chinese Children for adoption are actually better in many respects than American children. Also, American adoptions are more and more turning to open adoptions, where the birth mother remains in the childs life. Also, the National Association of Black Social Workers are still pushing their racially segregation of black children to black only parents. Foster care in the US remains biased against loving families adopting transracially, and finally the US system allows birth parents to change their minds midstream of the adoption process.
China, on the other hand, is a wonderful program so far. It is streamlined, relatively well managed and has 15 years of a pretty good track record.
Good Luck
Posted 20 Jun 2006 at 11:24 am ¶
Gandalf Mantooth wrote:
(Tangential sidenote: Why does it always have to be a Chinese baby specifically?)
Because they watch too much “Law and Order.”
Posted 20 Jun 2006 at 12:57 pm ¶
Tiki wrote:
Damn Jamaican girls with their tutting noises! This is one of the reasons I will never marry a Jamacian girl! No other type of girl would toot but them. Actually, I hate all tutters.
Posted 21 Jun 2006 at 4:33 am ¶
worshipdancer wrote:
In reference to the tangential sidenote:
China continues a persistent push to persecute, ostracize, and punish people who have more one child. Many are aborted to avoid the quota, and many parents deceived by the male superiority myth are killing their girls before they have even been given a chance to be born. Adoption creates a win-win situation with healthy, moral options for children and people who WANT to be parents, and are capable of loving and providing for a child.
Posted 28 Jun 2006 at 5:14 pm ¶