Steven Seagal — give me energy!
MW (a new MMW contributor!)

I wasn’t sure if this would fall under any MMW categories, but it cracked me up nonetheless! Steven Seagal just came out with an energy drink.
When Steven Seagal traveled to Asia searching for the ingredients for Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt, he wanted a universal Asian character to summarize its energy and power. The character known as “CHI” stands for power, and energy in many Asian languages and cultures.
Just picturing a sleazy, ponytailed Seagal in a mandarin collared linen shirt, wandering through Asia and picking berried off of bushes (please) makes me shudder!

mtevc wrote:
i think i am going to hurl just thinking about his ponytail
Posted 09 May 2006 at 12:09 pm ¶
Merq wrote:
Hahhaha! Don’t knock the tail!
But Segal’s a master of disturbing appropriations, isn’t he? Don’t you remember thosse (one or two) movies he did as a biracial character (I believe) with some disturbing-yet-hilarious “blaccent?”
Posted 09 May 2006 at 12:15 pm ¶
site admin wrote:
No way Merq! What movie was this? I MUST see it now!
–CVK
Posted 09 May 2006 at 12:52 pm ¶
Merq wrote:
Did a little research, and I believe it was one movie only:
Half Past Dead (2002) with Ja Rule and Morris Chestnut.
Seagal (I can’t remember whether or not he was actually supposed to be biracial, or just “down”) plays a doo-rag-wearing, slang-talking cop type.
Posted 09 May 2006 at 2:14 pm ¶
mtevc wrote:
i am pulling up netflix, as i am getting hooked up with my “down” seagal movie this weekend…thanks for the laugh merq
Posted 09 May 2006 at 3:04 pm ¶
gatamala wrote:
yall are wrong
Posted 10 May 2006 at 2:52 pm ¶
Merq wrote:
Don’t thank me, young mtevc. Just pay it forward.
Posted 12 May 2006 at 8:14 am ¶
mtevc wrote:
ha ha ha
Posted 12 May 2006 at 9:09 am ¶
Gandalph Mantooth wrote:
Stevie likes to play “natives.” He started off playing a “guy from da hood,” A ethnic Greek American living in a Chicago enclave. Actually, that wasn’t such a bad performance. He just went downhill from there. I happened to catch his latest hood rat show this weekend, well, as much of it as I could stand. He played the Sean Connery “Rising Sun” role, the kind of person he always casts himself as these days, someone very familiar with the indigenous Asian culture, actually speaking the language and what not. In this film, he was a Yokohama homeboy, and I suppose since he can rock the Osaka-ben he was better in Connery in that respect. I guess I love the fact that someone so horrible can still make movies that make money.
Posted 30 May 2006 at 7:24 pm ¶