Custody battle over mixed baby on ‘The L Word’
CVK
(Thanks to Eric for his email to us about this!) Last night’s episode of “The L Word” revealed that Bette (a black/white mixed character played by real-life mixie, Jennifer Beals) is going to try to obtain sole custody over her child with ex-girlfriend Tina (both pictured here in happier days). Tina is the biological mother of their daughter Angelica, but they deliberately chose an African-American sperm donor so that the baby would be mixed and thus, reflect both of their heritages.
Tina is getting serious with her new partner - a white man who already has a son of his own. In one particularly poignant scene in the episode, Bette drops Angelica off with Tina, who is planning a day trip to the aquarium with her boyfriend and his son. The son asks Bette to take a picture of them together, “a family picture.” Bette looks stunned and hurt, and when she takes the picture she can quite literally see Angelica’s future - being a brown child in an otherwise white family, and how everyone will just assume she’s adopted. (In fact in the previous episode, that exact scenario played out when an elderly lady praised Tina and her boyfriend on their “beautiful family,” and exclaimed how great it was because there were so many needy children who needed to be adopted.)
Bette goes to see an attorney who specialized in lesbian domestic partnership and child custody cases, and explains that she wants to seek sole custody of Angelica because she doesn’t want her to grow up feeling like an outsider in her own family. She talks about the fact that she has experienced firsthand what it’s like to be biracial, how hard it can be, and that the last thing she’d want is for Angelica to have to endure the same feelings of alienation in her own home.
It’s been quite some time since the show has directly addressed the issue of Bette and Angelica’s mixed identity. But longtime viewers might remember that in Season 1, when Bette and Tina first began looking for a sperm donor, Tina was shocked when Bette suggested a black man. There ensued a discussion where Bette expressed how that hurt her feelings - why would Tina have an issue with using a black donor if Bette herself was part black? And Tina admitted that she just didn’t think of Bette as black, and she also asked rhetorically, “To have two moms and be biracial, isn’t that too much otherness for one child to bear?” And there was also one episode where a black woman questioned Bette’s authenticity and legitimacy as an African-American during a class she was taking.
I have a feeling that Jennifer Beals has had a lot of input on how the issues of mixed race and interracial relationships have been handled on the show. In fact, if it hadn’t been for Beals, Bette’s character would not have been mixed at all. Beals is the one who convinced producer Ilene Chaiken to make Bette mixed, “so I could serve all those people who were like me and had never seen themselves represented except for maybe in a Benetton ad, she told the audience at the POWER UP benefit gala in November 2004.
Eli Rothblatt wrote:
Well, to answer the question if having to female parents and being biracial is too much to bear, I’d personally say no. I’m mixed with black and white and both of my parents, Martine and Bina, are female. Sure I’ve faced discrimination for all these aspects from various folks, but I’ve also received support, made great friends, and have had a lot of opportunities.
For those with lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered parents, I recommend the following resource: colage (children of lesbians and gays everywhere). The New York City chapter’s long time coordinater, Claire Knight, has been great, and they have regular get togethers for adult members.
For multiracial folks, I of course recommend Swirl, Total Mixed Unity (TMU), and Mixedfolks.com, all three of which have in person get togethers.
There was even a resource for folks with lesbian parents of 2 different races when I was growing up in DC: Lesbian Interracial Couples with Kids, although I think they may be defunct now (I’m not sure).
I’m not a regular watcher of the L Word (no Showtime) but I hope they work these many positive organizations into the show.
For more information on resources or networking in these communities, feel free to contact me:
Eli Rothblatt
er506@nyu.edu
http://www.elirothblatt.com
Posted 21 Mar 2006 at 6:33 am ¶
mtevc wrote:
i like the way the show is dealing with this…did anyone see the PBS show on the half white half vietnamese woman who went back to vietnam to meet her MOM????
Posted 21 Mar 2006 at 2:54 pm ¶
Danni wrote:
Can I approve of you calling Jennifer Beals a “mixie”?
I dunno, but I love the L-Word, and I hope that they’re doing this in a way that will make me love the show even more. But, I’m goign to have to wait, unfortunately– for I am poor & w/out showtime
Posted 21 Mar 2006 at 5:35 pm ¶
Hunter wrote:
Beals may have petitioned for her character to be an actual representation of who she is, a biracial woman, however, except for her sister Kit, and the seldom appearance of her nephew, Bette has no interaction with black or biracial people on the show. Her friends and colleagues are all white. Her argument for custody is weak, if it’s solely or largely based on her sharing her daughter’s biracial makeup.
As for the incident with Tina and Angelica in the restaurant, I know the writers’ were trying to make a point about assumptions based on physical appearance, but to me, it was badly written. Tina should’ve commented on the person’s ignorance - not in a negative way - since what the woman said is indicative of her personal views, not Angelica or Tina.
In my opinion, Tina should get custody. There is nothing Beals’ character has done to indicate her involvement with her black culture. As many white people who adopt interracially do, Tina can attend and participate in African American cultural events, etc.
If the writers’ wanted to throw the audience and characters for a loop, have the birthfather seek custody, or better yet, have Bette hookup with him to gain custody.
Posted 21 Mar 2006 at 8:03 pm ¶
mtevc wrote:
dipping into african american events might be nice, but biracial familes (adoptive or thru marriage) need to be more mindful of where they live and who they associate with…having friends and role models of all races in your life…having your kid in a community where they can feel safe, protected and confident about who they are (as best as anyone can)…
as far as the show, i think the comments are based on personal knee jerk reactions, anger from separation, etc, and would be more realistic than merely having a character espouse what we think they should say…
the incident in the restaurant and the ignorant woman’s comments are very realistic…i have had people say all kinds of awful crap to me, thinking they were being so nice…my daughter is blond (my husband is white), and i am a light skinned african american woman…i get mistaken for the babysitter, even when my daughter was hanging on me and kissing me and screaming mommy…i have had people say to me “how could YOU get a blond child…” (these were mostly white women who were obviously longing for a blond child of their own, as one even said to me, and “my daughter has such dark hair, and i always wanted a blond child”…and i nastily said to her, “maybe you can trade her in”…not to be mean, but i hate when strangers get into your life…it would be something different if someone i even vaguely knew had made a halfway rationale comment or had a question about our ethnicity…but the questions come in the starbucks, or at the county fair (the trade in the child comment)…weird people…so, take my word, from personal experience, people say the oddest things…and most of the times, in talking to friends with biracial children (adoptive and biological), the parent doesn’t always respond with a snappy answer or retort…sometimes you just get tired, and other times, you have your child with you and you want to hit a person over the head for such ignorance, but you don’t…and sometimes you say the right thing back to shut them up…and other times you are too tired to say anything, from racing after the kids all day and running to the market and coming back from work, etc…
Posted 22 Mar 2006 at 8:54 am ¶
virna galvez wrote:
hola jennifer & laurel, Mi mirar de Teh L Word, por favor canal 16 - Más todos sabados ó domingos siempre mi aprendé de traquilleza , amigas jennifer beals con laurel holloman aplicar de mi si entendio de amor chau.
Posted 22 Mar 2006 at 6:56 pm ¶
virna wrote:
hola, Me dicè a gustar televisìon de THE L WORD de canal 16 - warner channel siempre si todos sabados, POR FAVOR Nuevo the L word 2 preguntar cuando esta televisiòn ok chau.
Jennifer beals con Laurel holloman esta muy buena y bonita me mirè a gusta siempre maravillosa màs si amigas amor abrazar ok chau
Posted 15 May 2006 at 3:21 pm ¶
Brenda Harris wrote:
Hello Everyone!
Well what a topic 1st of all What a wonderful world this would be if everyone keep there negative opions to there selves. Okay now that it is out there what happen to looking into the heart of one one and gathering your opion from there. It is no military secrete that opionn are like butt hole we all have one some of ours are just bigger than others. 2nd of all please tell me who are we to pass judgement on another human being he who is not gulty of sin PLEASA CAST THE 1ST STONE OKAY JUST WHAT I THOUGHT IDID NIT HAVE TO DUCK HOW ABOUT YOU!!!
Posted 10 Jul 2006 at 5:52 pm ¶