Slate.com’s take on “What Are You?”
CVK
(Thanks to Susan for this!) Slate.com’s advice columns, Ask Prudence, tackles a question us mixed folks are all too familiar with: “What are you?” You can read the exact question here, but I thought her answer was pretty decent:
Dear L.A.,
I talked with two friends of mixed heritage about this. (”Hi, since you’re so exotic-looking, could you tell me what you do about people who point this out?”) They both said context is everything. Neither one answers the question from strangers. T. says responding with the question, “Do I know you?” usually blows them back. She added that half the time she is asked this by other “exotic-looking” people who are trying to find out if they’re of the same heritage. Your answer, “I’m from L.A.” is a good one. Ignore the follow-up questions—you have no obligation to continue a conversation with a stranger. But they both said they are untroubled when the question is put politely by an acquaintance. K. asks herself: “Is it appropriate? Is this someone I see on occasion who just wants to know more about me?” If you ask yourself the same questions and the answer is yes, why not go ahead and open up?
—Prudie
The point about other mixed people asking the “what are you” question is interesting. It probably happens more than we’d like to admit - probably because there’s a sense that it’s okay to ask if we ourselves are mixed? Anyway, we tackled a slightly different version of this question in a past Ask New Demographic advice column if you’re interested.
Ben wrote:
I like to respond with “why do you ask?” because once the inquisitor can explain his motivations, you have much better information on which to base your decision about whether or not to get offended.
On the rare occasion that I have a defensible reason to ask and am bold enough to do so, I usually say “I’m mixed and I was wondering if you might be too” so they understand I’m just tryna relate. But, like I said, rare.
Posted 15 Mar 2006 at 8:07 pm ¶
ebichan wrote:
I HATE this question!
In short, I believe that everyone is mixed to some degree. Ask any average White American and you`ll find out that that most are a mix of several European, and not uncommonly with Native American, bloodlines. But, how often are they asked this question. This “what are you?” question is based on the premise that only certain people are mixed or that certain mixes are worth asking about, ie EuropeanAmerican mixes are just “normal” but Asian-Other mixes (which I`m one of) for example, are “exotic and different”.
I personally like to think that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. All mixes and possible combination of human beings exist and are therefore, NORMAL.
I often say the answer “human”- that usually pisses people off, but that`s what I am.
Posted 16 Mar 2006 at 12:48 am ¶
Ben wrote:
If everyone is mixed, then nobody is mixed.
Posted 17 Mar 2006 at 12:05 pm ¶
Shannon wrote:
Ugh…. I can’t stand that question either. What I say also depends on the context. If it’s someone I know well who just seems curious and wants to get to know me better, I will usually tell them. If it’s a stranger that just asks for the hell of it, or out of a passing curiosity, I usually ask them why it matters… or sometimes I will just say “American” or “human… why, what are you?” if they’re particularly rude about it. I personally consider my ethnic background to be personal information that random people aren’t just entitled to because they’re curious, much the same as I do my religious beliefs, financial status, or educational background.
Posted 29 Mar 2006 at 1:51 pm ¶