White man seeks to own brown woman
CVK
Sounds like someone’s been reading too much Kama Sutra! Blog Feministe draws attention to this creep’s post on Ask Metafilter:
How do I find a Hindu bride? I will be going to India within the nearest future, and I would like to find a Hindu woman for marriage / children / life together / etc. She needs to be intelligent, speak some English, beautiful, young. I don’t require a dowry and class is a non-issue. How does a white 37 year old white man make this happen? Personal anecdotes, advice, warnings, all appreciated.
Oh excuse me, I just threw up all over my keyboard. Anyway, I loved Feministe’s analysis of this issue. It’s great to see other bloggers speaking up on the issue of racial fetishizing!
This isn’t technically bride purchasing, but it’s just as racist, imperialist and sexist. This man has fetishized Indian/Hindu culture, and I would imagine is under the impression that because he’s white, from a more developed nation (I’m assuming American or European) and male that he has a right to a beautiful brown woman to make babies for him, because he’s the more powerful one…
Some people have asked, “What’s wrong with him being attracted to Indian women?” But I think it’s fairly clear that this isn’t about him being attracted to Indian women; it’s about him constructing an idea of an Indian-woman-as-item-to-be-consumed and fetishizing owning that object… What’s consistent is that it’s often (though not always) a more powerful group fetishizing and dehumanizing a less powerful one.
UPDATE: Wow I didn’t even notice this at first, but check out his comment further down the page, where he says:
Ok, so I am big on Hindus. If you got a problem with that, well, my apologies. Creepy or not, I want to get it on with a Hindu girl and make little Hindu / Euro babies… answers as to how to make this happen most appreciated.
LOL! I think that would make a great t-shirt: “I am big on Hindus”
Renu wrote:
my Hindi’s not so good; I forgot how to say “repugnant creep with colonialist fantasies”.
Posted 08 Mar 2006 at 1:04 pm ¶
eric wrote:
I never know how to think about these kinds of guys…
Clearly he’s warped/creepy/unconfident/GAMELESS and inept for wanting to find a minority bride who I’m sure he wants to dominate (she needs to be beautiful and young, but enh, fluent English is OPTIONAL).
Which leads me to a mini-rant, who are these creepy guys in general who go overseas, and fall in love with these random South East Asian and/or East Asian and/or Eastern European wives who SPEAK NO ENGLISH. If good relationships are based on communication, why would you marry someone you literally CANNOT communicate with?!
Anyway, on the other hand, he does deserve a modicum of props, because he was either ballsy, aloof, or crazy enough to actually post this stuff online!
Posted 08 Mar 2006 at 1:56 pm ¶
tmk wrote:
I don’t really understand these guys nor do I understand the females who buy into their colonialist fantasies. Some women need to stop white male supremacy in their minds.
Posted 09 Mar 2006 at 10:07 am ¶
stephanie wrote:
It’s such views that drive the Mail Order Bride industry profits up. These guys are losers with American women of all races, so they go to foreign countries, especially Asian countries such as the Philippines, India, Thailand and Russia looking for women whom these guys perceived as less demanding, more submissive, domestic, and feminine than women back home. It’s not just racism and sexism. It’s also a backlash against feminism and cultural change in general.
Stephanie
Posted 09 Mar 2006 at 11:49 am ¶
Marsha wrote:
>It’s also a backlash against feminism and cultural change in general.
True. I’ve visited some of those mail order bride type of web sites and one of their marketing phrases is, “Find women with traditional values.”
A long time ago (around 1997), I was watching the “Maury Povich” show when those web sites were first becoming popular. They had this overweight white guy on who married a Vietnamese mail order bride. The guy was so obnoxious- he said, “Trying to find a good woman in Los Angeles is like trying to find a nun in a whorehouse.” Gee, if the guy tried to lose some weight and stop being such a sexist pig then maybe he could find a girlfriend in Los Angeles.
Posted 09 Mar 2006 at 5:31 pm ¶