Comments on: Black woman marries Asian man for kids with “good” hair

By: Kay

Kay — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 21:05:35 +0000

Hi, I am black and asian and I still have wild curly hair. You can not control genetics…what genes will be dominant or recessive is a gamble. I am dark brown complexioned with big curly afro hair and I love my look!!! A lot of people wonder what I am…they know I am black, but they wonder what else is there. Ethnicity is awesome love who you are, we all have flaws, that’s what makes us who we are!!!

By: monkeylumps

monkeylumps — Fri, 05 May 2006 21:28:19 +0000

Very good posts here! I’ve been attacked on this website because I stated that my mother is white, I have blue eyes, straight hair, live in Maine, etc. Those were physical descriptions that I was sharing, nothing more. Silly and not worth my time anymore, lol…now I’m back to having intelligent discussions with people who can debate without personal attacks.

Hmm…this woman who married an Asian in the hopes of children with “good hair” is nuts! Unfortunately, people do stuff like this all the time. You hear about social climbers and people who marry for money but what about people who specifically seek out another race to procreate with, hoping that the children will turn out looking differently from themselves? This says a lot about them, that they have self-hate or identity issues related to race or appearance. What this woman is pretty much saying is that she has a problem with her hair, so she wants children with Black/Asian features or skin and straight hair. As another poster commented: how can she ensure what the children will look like?!

She might be very disappointed if the children come out brown-skinned with coarse or “textured” hair. And with her as their mother, they most likely will bear some resemblance to her. People should mate and marry based on LOVE and RESPECT…not because one partner had “good hair” or a certain skin color in mind, esp. not when it comes to having kids. A person like this is likely to inflict psychological/emotional abuse on children. If she has daughters with this guy, will she resent them for not having hair like Lucy Liu or Ming Lee ? Seriously…

By: Well Educated

Well Educated — Sun, 23 Apr 2006 18:36:54 +0000

I think that is something for her to marry just for good hair what if this baby God forbidd have or had birth defects just for some good hair. Im a beautiful black women with long straight black hair down my back its all natural nappy hair and i love every inch and nap as do my BF which is a black man who could care the fondest if it was short bald nappy straight or whatever her love me for me not my hair and those are clear reason why so many women are single or divorce Because we fall into what society want us to look like we lose sight of ourself and our worth as beautiful black individulas and we send the wrong message to our children about how we should potray ourself which cause for poor self esteem and self worth we need to step it up a knotch and realize that we are beautiful no matter what our hair skin body or anything look like better is not only skin it within true beauty is how you carry yourself as an individual and how you value life not on how your hair look Futhermore if you do have natural nappy hair they have perms and beauty salons to make your hair look anyway you want it. People find it just a little easier to tame coarse hair than thin and stringy hair think about it

By: gottaB

gottaB — Mon, 06 Mar 2006 16:24:27 +0000

I see this debate has taken on my threads from just hair to prospectives on interracial dating to pride. It all comes down to personal experience and overall attitude. I have nappy hair and I love it. Would I want my kids to have my hair? HELL YEAH! My parents have positive attitudes about anything black (hair, skin, music, history) so when I went out in the world I took pride in what made me identify with my race and separated me from others. Then again I grew up in an all black communtiy where locs, fros, braids, and twists were considered beautiful. My point being it’s all about what YOU have experienced.

To Nippleonia: Black people to not “suffer” because of our hair, cut it out

To Erica and April: Our hair is not meant to be “fixed”. Like there is some sort of malfunction that must be corrected. Get it together.

And last, on behalf of my brothers; You have to be a black man to speak for a black man. I don’t know what all men want not even black men. So to the ladies who think they know the deal, chill out. Sometimes I wonder if any man knows what he wants anyway.

By: oaktree

oaktree — Mon, 27 Feb 2006 19:45:23 +0000

hi
i’m 17. i’m black and have my natural hair in other words nappy headed hair. And i think that it shouldn’ matter what type of hair your child has it doesn’t change the fact that you have to still love them.And so what if people want to date out side thier race as long its for the right reasons.At my school all black girls have perms or weave. and theres probably on 2 girls who wear thier hair natural. My friend once told me only boys wear thier hair nappy. if are a girl you wear your hair straight. My question is will white society or society it self will accepta black women or black man for who we really are?

By: Missy

Missy — Fri, 17 Feb 2006 23:01:31 +0000

Dantago, so what if not all black men have nappy hair? Who cares? Does that make non-nappy-headed black men better than those who aren’t? NO. And why would you have to take a good look to go find them? Why not take your time to find a man of good moral character? A man of his word and who is faithful? A man who works hard to support himself and isn’t afraid to support his woman emotionally and spiritually? Is this so scarce that we have now lowered our standards to “non-nappy” hair? I think good hair is the kind God puts on your head that still grows.

By: Dantago

Dantago — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 10:43:12 +0000

HI, I’m so touch by all the remarks made by u all people…
this is not the way to treat black man, infact if they do deservedwhat they earn for (lol)….. meaning that if the black woman a man out of race, let her have it u know.. cuz there’s no used to the fact that she is been by herself to go under this pressure to have kids with good hair. I do support CHARLI point of view. After she’s divorce who’ll she marry again, black man or non black man? maybe she has to think about it. Her babies were made out of shame and guilt of been who she iwas and is. And that “nappy hair” thing if she didn’t take care of her hair she wouldn’t had end up like that sister. Not all the black man hair are “nappy” take good look u will find ‘em.

By: MissyB

MissyB — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 19:01:57 +0000

Black Girl, your audacity to assign black men who date white women the stereotype that they want what the white man has is notoriously ignorant. It’s even more ignorant considering your denial that your reasons are identical by your own admission and pointless denial. The marriage thing is a whole ‘nother controversy. If you think of marriage as an alternative to being alone you are 1. a pathetic contributor to the US’s current 80% divorce rate and 2. obviously don’t love yourself and that’s the key ingredient to a lifetime of misery. Please refrain from using your lack of self-love to promote your ignorance and to poison other people with your BS.

Arlene, the only thing sad about this is that you have unfortunately been misled to think that black women are not valuable because of our hair. There is nothing sad about being a black woman, and men (of any race) are far more concerned about getting you in bed than what kind of hair you are going to contribute to the kid that he probably isn’t going to take care of.

People always want to pour more into the interracial relationship controversy to make it this big racial dilemma when sometimes it is as simple as actually liking the person for who they are.

I am a dark-skinned black girl and I love my hair. I have never given such thought to marrying a person outside of my race specifically for selfish genetic BS that you can’t really control anyways. I am going to marry who I love black or white or asian or hispanic or whatever and whatever kind of hair my kids have is the hair God gave them and it is as simple as that.

The problem with the world right now is that people don’t love themselves. I’m not perfect but I accept the things I can not change and find pure beauty in myself inside and out simply because God loves me.

I think it is a shame that people can’t accept themselves for who they are and spend their whole lives feeding and perpetuating what society defines as their “inaccuracies” by senselessly measuring their self worth by the color of their skin, the nappiness of their hair, and acceptance of the utter lies branded onto them by ugly and ignorant people.

There’s more to life than hair, obviously, and the human quest for physical “perfection” by society’s lame definition will never be fulfilled, and if it isn’t hair it’s something else.

By: lily

lily — Sat, 21 Jan 2006 16:57:44 +0000

im a black girl i hate my hair but tell me some one who doesnt black or white i think that womans needs some councilin if she thinks like that its not good for her i have many biracial friends hu have worst hair than me and choose to wear weave or extentions. its not black mens or black womans fault its the media fault for given out the illusion to be a beautiful non white woman u need to lightskin and straight long hair

By: lily

lily — Sat, 21 Jan 2006 16:52:47 +0000

i think its differant for evry person im a black girl i dnt piticuly like my hair but i can control it n make it look good and i got loads of mixedrace friends hows hair are worst and choose to wear weave and extensions. i think that woman needs to look deep inside herself if she thinks like this and its not black men or black womans fault its the medias fault for crating this illusion that to a beautiful non white woman u need to be thin ,have liteskin and straight hair