Black woman marries Asian man for kids with “good” hair
CVK
As you might know, supermodel Tyra Banks has a new daytime talk show. She devoted yesterday’s episode to the drama that so many women have with their hair. One of her guests was a black woman, who admitted that she married an Asian man because she didn’t want her children to have the same nappy hair she did!!! :-O
Lyonside wrote:
I’d put good money on the line that 1. this “guest” said that to get on the program, and/or 2. she’s divorced. I couldn’t imagine the marriage being healthy otherwise.
Posted 03 Nov 2005 at 10:55 am ¶
Danni wrote:
Is it bad that I actually find this funny?
I mean, honestly, race might have been a factor in deciding who a this person wanted to marry, but hopefully, she found a good asian man, right?
That, and my half white-half black hair is hell enough for me (personally) to deal with natural. She probably didn’t want her children to go through something that she felt a result of her race… hair’s a tricky thing that I dont’ think is acknowledged enough in race dialogues… maybe because it encourages the binary idea of black vs white (or non black…)
Posted 04 Nov 2005 at 12:04 am ¶
tony wrote:
Omg….
Self hatred or what?
As I mulatto, I am proud of the “nappy” hair I inherited.
Posted 04 Nov 2005 at 4:30 am ¶
Keya wrote:
Her poor children, having a mother mixed up like that.
Posted 06 Nov 2005 at 7:16 pm ¶
CVK wrote:
Lyonside - yes she is divorced! Surprise surprise… She spoke of the Asian man as her “ex-husband.”
Posted 11 Nov 2005 at 9:24 am ¶
Nippleonia wrote:
Well, that’s refreshing. I hear of so many women NOT marrying Asian men for various physiological traits, why not marry them FOR some? Just like they do other men in the hopes of creating “cuter” designer babies.
Except, there’s no articles written about those cases which typically involve White or Black men - as that is such an assumed and accepted norm.
Posted 15 Nov 2005 at 12:04 am ¶
Miss Deliciouse :) wrote:
Well, atleast she`s being honest… how many bruinie girls, not to mention guys go for cherries/oukies with streight hair. More often the guys, they are the ones who want to be seen with the chick with the blow dried hair (uitgeblowde lang hare) so if you a woman, you might aswell go for “die oukie met die glade hare” and not for Tim Cruzz
Posted 16 Nov 2005 at 4:17 am ¶
Nippleonia wrote:
^ Exactly. Many Black men prefer women with straight hair - which leaves natural Black women out. They have limited choices within the Black community because of this bias - so sue them if they date outside of it or want their future daughters to suffer less from it?
The difference is, at least she’s honest about it - while most are in complete denial - like Michael Jackson who test-tube breeds with White women only like some neo-Hitler.
Posted 16 Nov 2005 at 1:34 pm ¶
Erika & april wrote:
Erika: what the hell… who cares what hair looks like i mean cant you fix it if you dont want it “nappy” what if the kids wanted “nappy” hair lol! i mean just because the mum wants what she doesnt have, in our days theres products that can controll the “nappyness”
April: soo she married him for the kids with good hair and then divorced him? to me thats a load of cow dung!…and imagine how the ex and the kids feel…i no lots of native americans with beautifull hair!!! and i no some with the :nappy” hair and they have bought products to controll that and yeah the mum should get a frigen life!
Posted 26 Nov 2005 at 9:08 pm ¶
Arlene wrote:
I have black friends who said they did not want plain black children (especially because of the skin color and type of hair the girl child will have). Many of them did have children for non-blacks and have girl children with softer longer hair and/or lighter complexion. Yes. These friends are all divorced now. I believe the media is responsible for this distortion of what’s beautiful. Also, rightful blame is due to the black man. Black women know that black men do not want them unless they range from mixed (with “good” hair) to white. It is a very sad situation for black women.
Posted 27 Nov 2005 at 12:40 pm ¶
dp wrote:
I don’t agree with alot of these comments here,I’m a black man and I say that you can’t speak for all black men, I like all kinds of hair from long to short and nappy to straight. Way too much generalizations are being made in here. I know lots of brothers out there who could care less about hair being nappy and what not, folks make up too many excuses for their hang ups.
Posted 01 Dec 2005 at 12:58 pm ¶
charli wrote:
does this woman not realise having a mixed race kid doesn’t guarantee nice hair. does every mixed race person you know have the desired ‘good hair’ its rather pathetic and the fact she can go on national tv and say this, so her kids may see this is a complete disgrace
Posted 10 Dec 2005 at 6:12 pm ¶
Black Girl wrote:
Agrees with the black dude. Black men reasons for marrying outside are more the fact they covet what mastah has, and nothing more. It’s truly sad that black women have been so mentally abused that they have given in to the pressures of racist societies. Black women were the original women. Before them there was no white Asian ect. and yet we let the fact that our children look different from us I.e stringy hair determine our self worth. Truly a sad day indeed.
P.s. I am a woman who married out of my race, but it sure as hell wasn’t cause I wanted kids with GOOD hair persay. It was becuase it was marry someone or risk being alone.
Posted 13 Jan 2006 at 8:33 pm ¶
chris wrote:
im mixed and HAAATTTTEEEE my hair!!!
doesn ne one know of good …male hair extensions?
Posted 15 Jan 2006 at 2:06 pm ¶
JOe wrote:
You two black women SELLOUT are the reason why the black community is in shambles, always blaming the men because its the easy copout but never having the gall to blame YOURSELVES! Black men dont want and shouldnt have to tolerate your nasty attitudes over little issues.
“BLACK GIRL’” IS SUCH A HYPOCRITE for HATING BLACK MEN FOR DATING INTERRACIALLY but can do it herself!
“Arlene” judging from your post YOU are the reason you probably cant find a man. NO ONE is getting sentimental over your BS. SO SAVE IT!!
Posted 16 Jan 2006 at 4:48 pm ¶
lily wrote:
i think its differant for evry person im a black girl i dnt piticuly like my hair but i can control it n make it look good and i got loads of mixedrace friends hows hair are worst and choose to wear weave and extensions. i think that woman needs to look deep inside herself if she thinks like this and its not black men or black womans fault its the medias fault for crating this illusion that to a beautiful non white woman u need to be thin ,have liteskin and straight hair
Posted 21 Jan 2006 at 11:52 am ¶
lily wrote:
im a black girl i hate my hair but tell me some one who doesnt black or white i think that womans needs some councilin if she thinks like that its not good for her i have many biracial friends hu have worst hair than me and choose to wear weave or extentions. its not black mens or black womans fault its the media fault for given out the illusion to be a beautiful non white woman u need to lightskin and straight long hair
Posted 21 Jan 2006 at 11:57 am ¶
MissyB wrote:
Black Girl, your audacity to assign black men who date white women the stereotype that they want what the white man has is notoriously ignorant. It’s even more ignorant considering your denial that your reasons are identical by your own admission and pointless denial. The marriage thing is a whole ‘nother controversy. If you think of marriage as an alternative to being alone you are 1. a pathetic contributor to the US’s current 80% divorce rate and 2. obviously don’t love yourself and that’s the key ingredient to a lifetime of misery. Please refrain from using your lack of self-love to promote your ignorance and to poison other people with your BS.
Arlene, the only thing sad about this is that you have unfortunately been misled to think that black women are not valuable because of our hair. There is nothing sad about being a black woman, and men (of any race) are far more concerned about getting you in bed than what kind of hair you are going to contribute to the kid that he probably isn’t going to take care of.
People always want to pour more into the interracial relationship controversy to make it this big racial dilemma when sometimes it is as simple as actually liking the person for who they are.
I am a dark-skinned black girl and I love my hair. I have never given such thought to marrying a person outside of my race specifically for selfish genetic BS that you can’t really control anyways. I am going to marry who I love black or white or asian or hispanic or whatever and whatever kind of hair my kids have is the hair God gave them and it is as simple as that.
The problem with the world right now is that people don’t love themselves. I’m not perfect but I accept the things I can not change and find pure beauty in myself inside and out simply because God loves me.
I think it is a shame that people can’t accept themselves for who they are and spend their whole lives feeding and perpetuating what society defines as their “inaccuracies” by senselessly measuring their self worth by the color of their skin, the nappiness of their hair, and acceptance of the utter lies branded onto them by ugly and ignorant people.
There’s more to life than hair, obviously, and the human quest for physical “perfection” by society’s lame definition will never be fulfilled, and if it isn’t hair it’s something else.
Posted 27 Jan 2006 at 2:01 pm ¶
Dantago wrote:
HI, I’m so touch by all the remarks made by u all people…
this is not the way to treat black man, infact if they do deservedwhat they earn for (lol)….. meaning that if the black woman a man out of race, let her have it u know.. cuz there’s no used to the fact that she is been by herself to go under this pressure to have kids with good hair. I do support CHARLI point of view. After she’s divorce who’ll she marry again, black man or non black man? maybe she has to think about it. Her babies were made out of shame and guilt of been who she iwas and is. And that “nappy hair” thing if she didn’t take care of her hair she wouldn’t had end up like that sister. Not all the black man hair are “nappy” take good look u will find ‘em.
Posted 14 Feb 2006 at 5:43 am ¶
Missy wrote:
Dantago, so what if not all black men have nappy hair? Who cares? Does that make non-nappy-headed black men better than those who aren’t? NO. And why would you have to take a good look to go find them? Why not take your time to find a man of good moral character? A man of his word and who is faithful? A man who works hard to support himself and isn’t afraid to support his woman emotionally and spiritually? Is this so scarce that we have now lowered our standards to “non-nappy” hair? I think good hair is the kind God puts on your head that still grows.
Posted 17 Feb 2006 at 6:01 pm ¶
oaktree wrote:
hi
i’m 17. i’m black and have my natural hair in other words nappy headed hair. And i think that it shouldn’ matter what type of hair your child has it doesn’t change the fact that you have to still love them.And so what if people want to date out side thier race as long its for the right reasons.At my school all black girls have perms or weave. and theres probably on 2 girls who wear thier hair natural. My friend once told me only boys wear thier hair nappy. if are a girl you wear your hair straight. My question is will white society or society it self will accepta black women or black man for who we really are?
Posted 27 Feb 2006 at 2:45 pm ¶
gottaB wrote:
I see this debate has taken on my threads from just hair to prospectives on interracial dating to pride. It all comes down to personal experience and overall attitude. I have nappy hair and I love it. Would I want my kids to have my hair? HELL YEAH! My parents have positive attitudes about anything black (hair, skin, music, history) so when I went out in the world I took pride in what made me identify with my race and separated me from others. Then again I grew up in an all black communtiy where locs, fros, braids, and twists were considered beautiful. My point being it’s all about what YOU have experienced.
To Nippleonia: Black people to not “suffer” because of our hair, cut it out
To Erica and April: Our hair is not meant to be “fixed”. Like there is some sort of malfunction that must be corrected. Get it together.
And last, on behalf of my brothers; You have to be a black man to speak for a black man. I don’t know what all men want not even black men. So to the ladies who think they know the deal, chill out. Sometimes I wonder if any man knows what he wants anyway.
Posted 06 Mar 2006 at 11:24 am ¶
Well Educated wrote:
I think that is something for her to marry just for good hair what if this baby God forbidd have or had birth defects just for some good hair. Im a beautiful black women with long straight black hair down my back its all natural nappy hair and i love every inch and nap as do my BF which is a black man who could care the fondest if it was short bald nappy straight or whatever her love me for me not my hair and those are clear reason why so many women are single or divorce Because we fall into what society want us to look like we lose sight of ourself and our worth as beautiful black individulas and we send the wrong message to our children about how we should potray ourself which cause for poor self esteem and self worth we need to step it up a knotch and realize that we are beautiful no matter what our hair skin body or anything look like better is not only skin it within true beauty is how you carry yourself as an individual and how you value life not on how your hair look Futhermore if you do have natural nappy hair they have perms and beauty salons to make your hair look anyway you want it. People find it just a little easier to tame coarse hair than thin and stringy hair think about it
Posted 23 Apr 2006 at 1:36 pm ¶
monkeylumps wrote:
Very good posts here! I’ve been attacked on this website because I stated that my mother is white, I have blue eyes, straight hair, live in Maine, etc. Those were physical descriptions that I was sharing, nothing more. Silly and not worth my time anymore, lol…now I’m back to having intelligent discussions with people who can debate without personal attacks.
Hmm…this woman who married an Asian in the hopes of children with “good hair” is nuts! Unfortunately, people do stuff like this all the time. You hear about social climbers and people who marry for money but what about people who specifically seek out another race to procreate with, hoping that the children will turn out looking differently from themselves? This says a lot about them, that they have self-hate or identity issues related to race or appearance. What this woman is pretty much saying is that she has a problem with her hair, so she wants children with Black/Asian features or skin and straight hair. As another poster commented: how can she ensure what the children will look like?!
She might be very disappointed if the children come out brown-skinned with coarse or “textured” hair. And with her as their mother, they most likely will bear some resemblance to her. People should mate and marry based on LOVE and RESPECT…not because one partner had “good hair” or a certain skin color in mind, esp. not when it comes to having kids. A person like this is likely to inflict psychological/emotional abuse on children. If she has daughters with this guy, will she resent them for not having hair like Lucy Liu or Ming Lee ? Seriously…
Posted 05 May 2006 at 4:28 pm ¶
Kay wrote:
Hi, I am black and asian and I still have wild curly hair. You can not control genetics…what genes will be dominant or recessive is a gamble. I am dark brown complexioned with big curly afro hair and I love my look!!! A lot of people wonder what I am…they know I am black, but they wonder what else is there. Ethnicity is awesome love who you are, we all have flaws, that’s what makes us who we are!!!
Posted 19 Sep 2006 at 4:05 pm ¶