Comments

1. Jeff wrote:

   Do 4% of married NFL players have Asian wives?

   Posted 02 Nov 2005 at 11:22 pm ¶

2. Paul Ward wrote:

   And what is the background of these wives? If they’re Black, they won’t be happy as long as they see any succuessful Black men with anything other than a Black woman. That is a rather disturbing trend in the Black community (in my own observation).

   It’s an annoyance that irritates me about many (not all) black women.

   I had the same problem when I dated outside of my perceived “race” as well (I am also of mixed heritage). The black women on the street always had something to say. Always mumbling under their breath and generally not minding their own business. They continue to do so to this day whenever they see a black man with a non black woman.

   And they wonder why more and more black men are straying from the fold (for lack of a better term).

   Kudos to the Barber brothers for finding happiness outside of the “fold”. We don’t know their exact reasoning for being with asian women (and it’s really nobody’s business).

   I can speak for myself. I’d prefer an asian woman over any other, and it has nothing to do with fulfilling stereotypes. It’s all about how you are treated as a person. If you’re treated best by asian women, it makes perfect sense you’d end up with one in the end.

   Posted 08 Nov 2005 at 4:05 pm ¶

3. Orca Winfrey wrote:

   Well, Asian women offer Black men something lighter/less African than a Black sistah, but with less guilt than a truly White Nicole Simpson. In short, the OTHER White meat.

   Posted 14 Nov 2005 at 12:48 pm ¶

4. Miss Deliciouse :) wrote:

   Well what can a bruin girl say…. Guys, sorry to hear about your problems, but I love my cappuccino man (a real color/african american, with a little white, brown & black) The only reason why Tikie & Rhonde, marry Asian, is because they dont have a backbone, unfortunately u have to be a REAL man to tame a real black woman.
   So dont come with ya funny accuses, u just not man enough to handle a strong black beauty!

   Posted 16 Nov 2005 at 4:30 am ¶

5. miss jma wrote:

   That’s the most closed-minded comment (nearly retarded) I’ve ever heard. This is one of the reasons that black men go with other women……….b/c black women can be so close-minded. If they don’t understand something, have never done something, they have alot or resistance, or simply are not open to trying new things. Society also teaches them that they have to be independent and that means having a lot of attitude and never trusting your man and never trusting anything that comes out of his mouth, always starting some drama. All this causes them (not all) to have a lack of culture that our asian/white counterparts have.

   Posted 25 Nov 2005 at 3:29 pm ¶

6. BloomingNight wrote:

   HI everyone,
   I personally think its good to marry outside your race or fold. If you can not find what you need in our life within your race or fold. I am an african american lady with mixed background I phenotypically look and consider myself african american and i feel personally that its up you to to marry or involve yourself with whomever what you want and can best fulfilly our needs. African american culture has many good things but there are things which I do not want have a great influences or impact in my future children. I want them to not just fit-in on paper. But to be prepared to be in society and have the intellectual and social skills to succeed not just on the field of sports but in the board room and beyond. If those men you mentioned chose to marry non black women. then perhaps like me they see characteristics and personality traits inthe african americans around them or society in general that they did not want to impart on their children, and a culture they did not want to live with or heavily influence those potential young minds.

   A woman does not need to be tamed! That alone implies the use of excessive force and violence. If black or african american women have it in their minds that they want to be tamed, then thats just a symptom of the mental illness that has rooted itself among the majority in the african american community. IN africa itself women do not feel that way, think that way or act that way. TO say thats a trait of african women is a misnomer. That is simply a learned behavior to respond to a set of circumstances that only apply in America and from the majority of ethnic african americans descended from former slaves. To persist in such behavior when circumstances have changed is a neurosis. The image of the strong, outspoken black woman holding her own and doing well with out a man is the exact reason why so many black families live in unmarried status. Because its become socially acceptable within this ethnic community for men to not be not required as compulsion of social and personal mores to take the leadership role inthe family is appalling.To be socially acceptable to be allowed to be relegated the role of prize stud a baby’s daddy, a player, an perpectual adolescent versus being the honored Husband and father and responsible adult, makes it no wonder african american men seek outside their fold to restore some sense of dignity to their own identity of what it is to be an Adult male human being. In these unions it is often the sons who are called on to be man of the house with no role model of who his identity or role in life is to be and as such is well likely to repeat the cycle of his parents.
   I believe these type of roles that do not really appeal to any man at all regardless of ethnicity; as it denies a man his identity as a man within his home and greater society. Those african american men who marry women of other ethnicities are are opting out of the whole of the cycle of the social neurosis and burden of the strong black female. because that neurosis does not leave a place for them to be who they are. As most termed ‘traditional’ societies require males to be adults to not create fatherless children or be players, sexual behaviors are limited by the society or else violence will occur and people made to pay in pounds of flesh not just money which is the price within in the us court system. A man’s dignity is often his daughter’s or sisters honor. Not! her disgrace at bringing home a child with no husband to support the child and her. Such shame is very strongly felt and keeps unwed births down. On the inverse of this. Those men who buy into this neurosis are helping to perpetuate the conditions that require the strong black female personality archetype, the baby’s momma and the drama that comes with it, They are helping to create the personality archetype which in the end most men find repugnant. A woman and her dignity is a rare and easily spoiled commodity, and once spoiled it takes a universal effort to restore the honor and dignity to it. SO if african american men are choosing and honoring other ethnicities of women with the honor of marriage, and responsible fatherhood. we as african american women should wake up and recognize our dignity is being loss not only by our men but by ourselves. and until we choose to dignify ourself esp with regards to our sexual behaviors how can we expect our men to do other wise. and if we dislike how are men are behaving and if you can’t change the onse around you then seek other men of ethnicities that will honor us in the ways we so richly deserve. Perhaps the african-american man and woman can not treat each other fairly within this generation. Its only right we each look elsewhere for the treatment and tenderness we need, the restoration of dignity by a personality that is capable and requires that we treat them with that dignity and whose family will not let their daughters be dishonored or let their sons live as less than men. Because this is a this as a social rule to maintain society’s stability and cohesiveness.
   BloomingNight

   Posted 28 Nov 2005 at 5:19 am ¶

7. joe joe wrote:

   when the last time you seen a Asian with a African with no money. No money brother your just another nigger not to be considered. like it or not.

   Posted 23 Dec 2005 at 5:43 pm ¶

8. Dr. Truth wrote:

   Idiots Idiots Idiots. Some of these comments sound like Klan Members upset that their daughters are dating black men. Some Black women act like there’s only 5 of us left on the planet. Get over it. Why do you care what other people do. We are not a “Dying breed”. These gold diggin bitches on complaining sound mad that Tiki and Ronde didnt marry them. You Who gives a damn who another grown ass adult marry’s? You desperate scum! “Waaaaa waaaa some man I dont know or never met or never will meet is married to somebody other than me. How will I now get that Lexus LS 430 that I want so bad.” Y

   You idiots fall right into the white mans trap. They want to pitt all of us against each other while they sit back and laugh. You stupid hoes. Asians, Latinos, all of us have been oppressed by white devils and you want to get mad at some Asians who never enslaved or lynched us by the millions? Focus your anger on other issues you chicken headed uneducated slave minded simps.!

   Posted 06 Jan 2006 at 4:03 pm ¶

9. Miranda wrote:

   I really don’t care what color they are, the problem: It isn’t me. Tiki I think you are gorgeous, Ronde you are to, but I’m really jonesing for Tiki, :)

   I say go on with your bad selves, you can never help who you fall in love with, and it’s none of our business anyway.

   My Problem is that it’s not me!!!

   Anyway, I love you and I think you are great as a person and as a football player.

   Posted 09 Jan 2006 at 10:28 am ¶

10. MissyB wrote:

    Miss Deliciouse, why do black women have to be tamed? No man of any race wants to “tame” a black woman, and a man with a backbone is ACTUALLY one that has enough sense not to put up with any of your “taming the black woman” BS.

    There is this idiotic misconception that a strong black woman is synonymous with rude and classless. I am a strong black woman because I have morals and values that I stand by. I am a strong black woman because I don’t lower my standards to conform to society and I have been blessed with a good head on my shoulders. In the same sense, I am strong enough to let my man be himself without needing to control his every move or make it my purpose in life to prove to him unrelentlessly that he can not control me. A real strong black woman knows that a healthy relationship needs equality not proof that a woman can “hold her own” but still wants a man anyways.

    People look too much for other people to validate them and “complete” them when only you can do that for yourself. If you need to be tamed, tame yourself.

    Posted 27 Jan 2006 at 3:10 pm ¶

11. Well Educated wrote:

    Miss Deliciouse unfortunely your valuses as a black women got mixed up in in up brining. For a strong black women to think that she need to be tamed is sad. Why would you want a man to have that much control over you. You shouldnt lose yourself in a man for him to have to tame you. You are the master of of destiny not a man. Regardless of who or what race any man marry doesnt lessen you as a strong beautiful educated black women. Question what it make it all the better if a powerful black women decides she want to marry outside her race. I dont think that is the problem I think black women become insecure of themself from being profiled as for having kids out of wedlock and the baby father leave we want to blame every black man for it and try to punish the other race that decide to marry a good black man. It’s not his nor her fault that you got dealt a bad hand. Or is it just that we want to marry these men for the money so we can be the going to the games driving the fancy cars dining with celebs. But regardless the reason we think black men should only date black women it’s not going to happen that way. We meaning our ancestor fought and died and worked to hard for us to be free for us to confine ourselves to the way society thinks that we live. For all the black men white men and asian marry outside their race dont let other spectator dictate your life and marriage you chose that life and only you have to live it

    Posted 23 Apr 2006 at 12:53 pm ¶

12. Concerned Guy wrote:

    Here’s the problem:

    Black women in general are classless, angry, bitchy, and almost always carrying emotional baggage. Finding one without illigit kids is near impossible. So when a black male achieves success (generally through hard work, conservative outlook on life and not adhereing to the African American culture of failure) he wants to marry/ start a family with someone of the same ideology as himself. That ideology is oftentimes ridiculed as “acting white” or “being an Uncle Tom”. In search of a stable drama free family life, these successful men often turn to women of the white, asian or hispanic cultures. Cultures that have strong family values and respect the man of the family. Things that the black “community” have totally discarded while embracing the world of “baby daddies”, consumer driven lifestyles and general lack of morals or self discipline. Disclosure: I am a black male MBA who date asian/ latina women only because I’ve been deemed “square”, “acting white” or “an Uncle Tom” by black women.

    Posted 23 Apr 2006 at 4:30 pm ¶

13. Werdz wrote:

    Yes I am bitchy, classless, angry, and always carrying emotional baggage simply because I am a black woman. Do you know how idiotic and hateful you sound? Do you know how many times I hear this from “real” black brothas? Alot! You don’t know all black women, and if you met only 5 or 6 in your life like that, that is still not ALL black women. Then all of the brothas who have the same mentality as you, sit around and wonder why black women do have “tude”. When you do something or say something negative to someone, that person is either going to react or hold his or her peace. Really lame reasons for having a preference such as yours make me want to vomit most of the time.

    I got called a square or an oreo and such by own too. Does that mean I’m going to simply write them off as being ignorant and not to be dealt with? No. We need one another man. How do any brothas and sistas out there expect change to happen in our communities, if we keep dishing out hate and stereotypes? There won’t be. We are a lost people, and we truly believe that having hate in our hearts for each other because we have been done wrong will make us feel better. This type of behavior needs to end today. Most black children grow up without a father figure in the home. People in America today are giving their bodies to any and everyone because it’s the cool thing to do. It is more expected of you to have sex than to maybe graduate from high school or college. Maybe if black children were taught to value their bodies, as well as their parents who know better we wouldn’t have so many broken families.

    You also stated you can’t find most black women who don’t have kids out of wedlock. Women of all races can have kids out of wedlock and they do. You don’t know what situation those black women were in. Some could have been wild, while a few others could have been raped and kept their babies. For you to pass judgement on a whole group of women you probably don’t even associate with shows how immature you really are. It takes two to make a baby. A black woman can’t come up with a secret formula for sperm, impregnate herself, and then decide to birth that child. She needs a male to help her create that new life. So if you’re going to talk trash, make sure you do it for both sides of the gender spectrum. I don’t hate you at all, but black men like you will never EVER get to know me period. I can’t talk to someone who can’t even stand black women, and I’m a black woman myself. And I know if I cam on this board stating that MOST black men were in prison, gay, on the down low, irresponsible and dead beat dads, uneducated, always selling drugs, horny dogs, liars, cheaters, gold-diggers[yes man can be that type as well], and a bunch of other negative crap you would get angry. I would probably have most of the black men, and probably mixed race men commenting negatively. But I would never classify most black men as anything that they may not be. I wouldn’t come on this board stereotyping and making wide generalizations because of 6 or 7 black men I knew. It’s a waste of time and energy.

    I tend to think that if all black american women, african women, and other women of african descent were to up and disappear of the face of the earth, most black men wouldn’t care. And maybe some black women would feel the same if it were black american and african men disappearing. But if both disappeared, there would be no black race. There would be no one for the spiteful ones to bicker at about every flaw others have. But I think we are already disappearing from this earth in anyway. The same mentality us black americans have here, is beginning to destroy people over in the motherland[africa for those who don’t know]. Many of us don’t know where we come from, who we are, believe that any mate other than black will solve our problems or in some cases make us happy, and believe we that we have a justifiable right to hate or dislike a person instead of the behavior because of what happened to you years before. We’ll probably be gone pretty soon, and I’m not trying to be negative here either. I just don’t see black people coming together anytime soon because we hate each other too much. Everything Malcom, Martin, Marcus, Ida, and other strong black leaders fought for has went down the drain. Would brotha Malcom say the things a lot of these brothas say today about black women and the black race? Probably not in the same context, but he also wouldn’t put down his own race of women if he were trying to enlighten them either.

    I know I typed a lot, but I had much to say. I don’t care about interracial relationships anymore. I have realized that the black man stopped loving the black woman long before IRs were becoming much accepted. I have also realized the black woman has also given up on the black man as well. We have just given up on each other. But you know what, if you’re happy so be it. Just keep your negative comments to yourself. I hate so much when black folks date interracially and spread that same hatred to their non-black mates and biracial kids. It is sickening. How can you say you don’t like racism, but you’re feeding the same poison to your mate and kids? Hate is a VERY strong word, but that is how I feel. Don’t cry racism when you’re telling your mate and kids that black men are dumb ass niggas, or black women are all gold-digging hos. I would never do that. And I know some do though. I don’t care what any of you say. To this world black folks are still dumb nigger monkeys who can’t do for themselves. We are still viewed as inferior. Some people forget where they come from, and when they get called a stupid nigger all of a sudden they are reminded again. It’s too late to change the minds of adults who are set in their ways, but it’s not too late for children. So for those who want to see the stupid crap black folks do to each other end, we need to work on the minds of the kids first. I’m out. Peace.

    Posted 23 May 2006 at 9:39 pm ¶

14. Gabrielle wrote:

    Fortunately there are still a lot of black men out there who prefer, appreciate, and love black women. There are still black men who are willing to work with us instead of against us. To those black men, I say thank you. I know Willie Lynch is sitting back laughing in his grave. This is exactly what he wanted to create, this division between black men and women. The white race doesn’t have to hang us from trees anymore and whip us, we hate and do enough damage to ourselves now. If ever there was a people lost. I guess Willie Lynch is patting himself on the back right about now saying job well done!

    Posted 20 Jun 2006 at 10:49 pm ¶

15. Concerned Guy wrote:

    Werdz, while I appreciate your long response I still stand by my earlier assessment. Unfortunately the black “community” here in the US and the world for that matter is a undisputable disaster zone. While childless, educated, single and conservative black women do exist out there, a good black man has to navigate through a morass of gold digging, angry and shallow “sisters” to find one. Choosing a white, asian or latina female as a mate is not a matter of “eye candy” as many black women would like to believe. It’s a matter of finding someone supportive, with good values and decency who does not want to be a part of what is characteristic of the black “community”.

    Posted 22 Jun 2006 at 4:27 pm ¶

16. Gabrielle wrote:

    Concerned Guy: You get on here and you trash black women in a public forum. Have you any couth? You are the worst kind of black. I would have more respect for you if you just came on here and said that you prefer white/asian/latina and just had left it at that. Why must you and other black men TRASH black women, your own kind, in order to defend your desire to date women of other races. I am so tired of it. I mean, who did you come from? What are you doing for the black community other than denying that is where you came from. You have so many complaints, but what are you doing to turn things around? Are you mentoring to these young blacks boys who in fact are impregnating these young black girls? Wow, listening to you and other black men who think like you, one would think the black woman is the most worthless piece of crap,serves no benefit, and isn’t fit to even live in society amongst others. My question isn’t about your dating preference. My question to you is why must you categorize all black women in one group and how does that make you any different than a white racist who categorizes all black men as lazy, irresponsible, and criminals. Wouldn’t that be ignorant. Well, you’re just as ignorant. Again, I ask what are you doing for the black community other than spewing hate. I am sick of black men like you trashing your own women and putting every other race of women on pedistles. You do not live in the other race’s world. They have issues too. Since when did white women/latina/aisan women come with no faults? You know why you wouldn’t know? Because these races have enough couth not to disgrace their own kind in a public forum. For your information, I happen to be a black woman who has a college degree, goes to work everyday, pay my own bills, own my home, no kids, and no drama in my life. Does that make me “better” than the next sista. I am where I am today due to a strong upbringing, self-discipline, and a lot of prayer. So you attained a couple of degrees, moved to the suburbs and now think you have achieved the right to turn your nose up at less fortunate blacks just because the white man gave you a job? I got news for you the white/latino/asian man hate you regardless of your achievements. They don’t and will never have any respect for the black man. You are the most hated. Society will never, ever respect you and what do you do? You spit on the black woman. You are not a success. You have no respect for the black woman and you call yourself a man? And for that you are a sell out! The black race doesn’t need you and we don’t want you. And I’ll tell you another thing too. If you did happen to come across a black woman who shared the same ideology as you did, guess what, you wouldn’t be interested in her. Why? Because you’re not remotely interested in anything associated with black. So instead of trashing black women, why don’t you just come out and say you don’t like black period, and you don’t even like yourself. That is why you choose to date white/latina/asian, anything but black. You’d probably date a dog before you’d date a black woman. You would also think in listening to you that black MEN don’t come with any faults. Well answer me this. Why is the incarceration rate higher than the college admission rate for black men? Why do black men make up the highest class of unemployement? Why are so many black men living on the DL and infecting their black wives and girlfriends with HIV? Look at what black women have to work with. Is there any wonder why they have attitudes and baggage? We get absolutely no help from the black man. The black man is too busy whining, moanin, and complainin. They think everybody owes them something. How about the black MAN is the rudest, most arrogant, most selfish, most unworthy man on the face of this earth! How would you like it if I went around in white/asian/latina circles telling spewing that sort of hate towards black men? You can learn a thing or two from these two positive brothas here. These two brothas decided to give back to their community instead of give up on their community. Oh and BTW, they love and both managed to find good, black women.

    http://www.randalpinkett.com/
    http://www.agoodblackman.com/leaders_booker.shtml

    Posted 29 Jun 2006 at 4:20 pm ¶

17. Gabrielle wrote:

    To Self Concerned: And what makes you such a good black man? What’s funny is that while you’re making black women out to be gold-diggers, there are a group of black men on another site, which I will not mention, that claim that we all want thugs. So which is it? If I choose to up my standards, I’m labeled a gold-digger. If I lower my standards, then they say I want a thug! My point: You can’t win with a black man! A white woman chooses a man of wealth, a black man says she’s a woman who refuses not to settle. I choose a man of wealth, a black man calls me a gold-digger. A black man sees a white woman headed for the door, he holds it for her. A black man sees me headed for the door, he lets it hit me in my behind! You get where I’m going. Furthermore, how can a RACIST call himself a good man. How can you hate a person or form a conclusion about a person before even exchanging conversation with them? How can you hate a person just based simply on the color of their skin? That makes you a racist, and again I ask, how can a RACIST call himself a good man? You are the same brotha who probably misused, abused and dogged GOOD black women all your life, then CHOSE to get with the worst black woman there was, she crapped all over you, and now you want to demean all black women. Why are black men the only race of men that disgrace, disrespect, and trash their women? There are many white men who choose to date outside their race, but I don’t hear them trashing white women in the process. Like I said, I don’t have a problem with a person’s dating preference, but I do have a problem with a person that comes into a public person and spews hate and makes despicable remarks about a specific group of people. I won’t stand for it. You are a sell out and not because of your “acheivements”, but a sell out because of how you choose to use your achivements - to spew hate. It isn’t like you used your achievements to do something beneficial - give back to the community. So white/latina/asian all have strong family values. I guess that’s why their divorce rate is so high, right? I also know a lot of white/latina/asian women too who choose to get their but kicked across the floor due to their “strong family values”. Did you even come from a two-parent home? You’re talking about strong family values, drama free life, and strong culture, how about you just wish you were born white. Black people couldn’t have a drama-free life even if they tried…uuh the last 400 years. We just got the right to vote a little over 40 years ago. You probably just got pulled over by the cops for no reason at all just yesterday. We’re judged and treated by the color of our skin every single day of our lives, have to work twice as hard as everybody else just to get the same day, so how could we possibly have a drama-free life? Then you want to talk about family values? Well, if the black man would stick around instead of abandoning his responsibilities and blaming everyone else for his shortcomings, maybe we could build a black family. Maybe if so many of you weren’t in jail maybe we could build a black family. So don’t go there with me. Black women have to do EVERYTHING on our own (we get NO support), but for the white/latina/asian woman, you’ll go the extra mile because you think they are better. To black men like YOU, I say continue to get pulled over by the cops for absolutely no reason at all other than the color of your skin, and I would laugh. You deserve a good Rodney King beating. Maybe they need to bring lynching back. What would you do then? Date a black woman or die? You’d probably choose to be hung!

    BTW, you couldn’t find a “square” black woman like yourself?

    Posted 29 Jun 2006 at 5:57 pm ¶

18. Concerned Guy wrote:

    Wow, thanks ladies for reinforcing the angry black female stereotype with your long winded and atagonistic responses. Not once did I mention that I thought black women were worthless and that I’d rather date a dog. Those statements indicates a serious lack of self esteem. It also indicates that deep down you may agree with my assessment. By the way, don’t blame only the man when it comes to out of wedlock births, if the women did not open her legs, or demanded birth-control before she did, there would be no impregnation. Both parties are to blame EQUALLY.

    Posted 20 Jul 2006 at 7:29 am ¶

19. Chrissy wrote:

    I’m an African American woman, I don’t have any children, finishing up my last year of college, work as a bridal consultant and have also produced and worked as a production manager for a few commercials and music videos. I have my own place and handle all my bills. I’m 21. I am also a bit tired of black men classyfing me as loud, obnoxious, and pretty much nothing, just because I’m black. You complin about the corrupt ways of black women, but prove to be no better on your end. I just don’t get it. Why must we all suffer when we try so hard to prove we aren’t like the rest? I’ve seen some pretty ignorant black women; talking loud/obnoxious in public, walking around looking like they were attacked by a weedwhacker, looking other women up in down like they’re the classless ones, on welfare, broke, lazy, but still think everyone owes them something. And because my skin color matches theirs, I’m deemed to be one of them? When does it end. I see very few black men trying to up lift the women who do try, trying to recognize the accomplishments they’ve made. I happen to have been dating a white man for 5 years, and we share the most passionate relationship known to man kind. But I still give credit to the black men that are trying. Even though a lot of black men are no better off then black women seeing as there are so many in prison. But in their case the black woman is the downfall for the black race?

    Posted 24 Aug 2006 at 4:15 pm ¶

20. Oh snap. wrote:

    “Kind” of black this and “kind” of black that.Why dont you just say that you hate anyone not Like you.If you didnt hate them then you would not give a damn who they marry.There is not one woman’s responce here would I care to have drilled into the heads of my childern.So marring one and sending childern out into the world with such racist views of other cultures and that of their own would be out of the question.

    Racist-seperatist-evil monsters, but it is quite ok for black women to marry who ever they feel like because all they have to do is say how they were abused by a blackman and every one will accept it.

    Black men, do what your heart tells you and dont be guilted into marrige that will effect the rest of your life.

    And yes I am an African American male.Twice married to African American females.

    Posted 24 Sep 2006 at 3:35 am ¶

21. Oh snap. wrote:

    All these b/m your complaining about were raised by so cslled strong b/f’s.
    What you say about that?

    Posted 24 Sep 2006 at 4:48 am ¶

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