Salon.com tackles the “what are you” question
CVK
(Thanks to sandandfoam for this!) Salon.com’s Since You Asked advice column answers a letter from a woman who self-identifies as “a light-skinned African-American” and signs her letter “Not a Caublinasian.” [sic] The woman is tired of always being asked what she is. This letter is interesting because she’s essentially dealing with the same problem as us, but the difference is that because she doesn’t self-identify as mixed (though she acknowledges the mixing that has gone on in previous generations of her family), the question becomes even more annoying since the person asking it assumes she must be mixed, when really she isn’t.
Anyway, I’m not crazy about the columnist’s advice to her. Here’s one suggestion:
What about simply saying, “Please, no more talk about me. Let’s talk about you.” It is permissible, I think, in almost any social situation, with some such phrase, to firmly if lightheartedly turn the talk away from yourself and onto someone else.
I guess it’s a very non-confrontational way to handle it, something that might be appropriate at a work function if you don’t want to piss of your boss or client, for example. But I did get a chuckle out of this tongue-in-cheek suggestion from the columnist:
It may also be tempting to say something like, “Speaking of skin color: Where did you get that amazing alabaster complexion? Were both your parents so white?”
I gotta start using that one!!! 
Dave wrote:
Interesting post!
Posted 30 Oct 2005 at 4:22 am ¶
will wrote:
I can relate. I’m a light-skinned African American that has had to answer this same question my entire life. My great, great grandmother was raped by her Irish slavemaster. I don’t get into that history because it’s really no one’s business who asks me. I just tell them, “I’m black. My mother is black, my father is black. And, I leave it at that.
Posted 31 Oct 2005 at 12:56 pm ¶
susan wrote:
Being mixed (half Japanese, half white), I get the “what are you” question a lot. There’s nothing more irritating when people who have no right ask personal questions like that. I’ve even been stoppped on the street by complete strangers who ask me that! Some of my favorite responses to that question include “a human being” and “an American.”
Posted 31 Oct 2005 at 1:30 pm ¶
amalthea wrote:
For me, it`s not the question as much as certain responses to the answer I give. What gets me the most is if I do answer and someone tries to negate my answer by saying “You don`t look it” or flat out comes out and says, “No, you`re not.” I`d rather be asked what I am than told what I am.
Generally, though, I`ve found that if I counter the question with another one, it sometimes makes the speaker think about what they are asking. For example, I might ask “What exactly do you want to know?” or “Are you asking me about my ethnic background or my nationality?”
I haven`t asked these before, but I`m sure I`ve had these thoughts from time to time (lol):
“Isn`t your question a little blunt?”
“What the hell kind of question is that?”
“Are you serious?”
“What do you think I am?”
“Are you ready for the answer?”
Posted 05 Nov 2005 at 11:52 am ¶
Racquel wrote:
I can relate to the woman in the article because I am a black woman who gets questioned constantly (especially by complete strangers) about the racial makeup of my baby daughter, who is mixed and looks more like her white father in complexion and eye color. I have even had people ask me if she is mine! Some people can be so rude and ignorant and it’s sad that some in our society are so narrow-minded in their thinking and beliefs.
Posted 05 Nov 2005 at 3:20 pm ¶
A.D. Powell wrote:
Sorry, folks. The woman is mixed-race, whether she admits it or not. What gave you the idea that “mixed race” only refers to people born from officially recognized “interracial” marriages?
Anyone who claims to be “black” but is constantly “mistaken” for everything BUT “black,” is definitely NOT BLACK.
Posted 15 Jan 2006 at 10:55 pm ¶
Nicky wrote:
My great grandmother’s father was mixed with Native American and White.Her mother was black.Their children were from all shades from white to dark.But they all had straight hair.My grandmother turned out to be very lightskinned
almost white.My mother looks very mixed.I have been asked what are you many times.Yet the mixing in my family took place generations ago.Therefore I don’t consider myself mixed but black.
Posted 24 Jan 2006 at 2:48 pm ¶