Article: Talk to mixed kids even when there are no “issues”
CVK
Check out this great article that my Mixed Media Watch partner-in-crime Jen Chau just wrote. You can read the entire article, Whether Or Not There Are “Issues,” Parents Need to Talk With Their Mixed Heritage Kids on the New Demographic Web site, but here are some excerpts:
As we all know, kids don’t always talk about everything that is really on their minds. I for one, kept a lot of things to myself because I thought that most of the harassment I was getting, at Hebrew School for example, was my fault. I was ashamed of my difference and didn’t think that the fact that I was constantly teased about my Chinese heritage would be acceptable dinner table conversation…
Kids are hyper-sensitive to things that we may not realize they are even aware of, and rather than thinking that silence means everything is okay, we should be trained to ask and then listen. Providing a forum for these kinds of difficult topics is extremely crucial. I know that I would have benefited from having this kind of space to talk about how it felt to be a mixed girl.
Now it’s quite possible that this woman’s son indeed has no “issues.” But why is it that we have been socialized to care and act only when there is something wrong? If there are no “issues,” shouldn’t we want to know what’s happening in our children’s lives anyway? Experiences (especially the positive ones!) should be discussed and processed. It is so important for children to be nurtured and given attention as they develop their identities.
Sabrina wrote:
In my experience as a parent, I’ve found oftentimes the younger generation (teenagers) don’t want to hear about certain “problems” from you and they will tell you “Oh, mom (dad) all that racial stuff that was back in your day. No one thinks like that anymore.”
Mind you, I’m not saving don’t ever talk about “mixed child issues” just take care how you talk about it. Years after me thinking I was being protective, my bi-racial daughter told me I had shoved race down her throat and was she was angry at me for it. In principle, we should always talk to our children regardless of issues, but I found that sometimes talking about multicultural or multiracial issues can backfire if proper care isn’t taken…in other words, be careful of making your issues THEIR issues.
Posted 06 Jul 2005 at 8:49 pm ¶
Larry Hamlet wrote:
We should be talking to our children about itendity . When the oppurtunity to talk about race occure then we can explain differences. School should be teaching about difference in preschool so we can build a community of culturally competent kids.
Posted 15 Aug 2005 at 11:47 am ¶