Fear of doctors indirectly causing more interracial relationships?
JC
Stanley Crouch of the New York Daily News ponders the rising rates of black female-white male relationships. He attributes the growth of these couples to the vast shortage of black men available to black women. He blames high rates of incarceration and fear of medical care. Thanks to Kim D. for the heads up on this story!
There are 2 million more adult black women than black men. Black men live far shorter lives and have greater health problems than black women, and far more black women than men graduate from college. The numerical gap between black men and black women is the result of murder, AIDS, diseases like high blood pressure, heart failure and poor health care. Part of the medical care burden is imposed by backward attitudes toward doctors….I even know a country Negro from Florida who lives in Harlem, is 63 and fears going to the doctor for a checkup.
All this means that, when incarceration is factored in, there are far from enough men to go around. But even if murder, prison and irresponsible attitudes about health did not reduce the pool of men, negative attitudes toward schooling and higher education would mean all these educated black women would still find themselves roving in pursuit of partners equal to them in intellectual development.
I am not opposed to interracial relationships or marriages. What bothers me is that we have a tragic set of circumstances imposed by violent environments, poor attitudes toward education and perhaps the worst problem of all: a lack of intellectual engagement and a fear of doctors.
lyonside wrote:
WTF? I can see the academic/economic/professional concept (barely). But I had a jerked knee over the “doctors” issue. So there are AA women actually thinking, “I’d ask that guy out on a date, but I heard that he has a family history of heart disease, and he mentioned that he has high blood pressure” or “Ooh, I’ll go to lunch with this guy, he jogs!”??
Both these diseases tend to develop in middle to later age (I know, diseases like Type II diabetes are rising in younger populations due to obesity, etc. but still…). Is there really such a spike in AA women/ EA men pairing up in their 50s? (Given, I do know such a couple, but most IR relationships I personally know of are in the under-50 set).
Most people don’t vet someone for personal health history on the first or even 5th date *(caveat for any communicables, of course).
Posted 10 May 2005 at 12:29 pm ¶
An Irritated Black Woman wrote:
An open letter to Mr. Crouch:
I am confounded by the ignorance you display in your May 9th editorial – A New Kind of Cross-Racial Dating. Your ascription of the increase in black women dating white men to “a man shortage” exposes the actual problem: a thinking-man shortage.
The tragic numbers detailing the black man’s incarceration and lack of education is not breaking news; the black woman’s success IN SPITE of those numbers IS. The black man’s infidelity and sexual promiscuity are not breaking news; the black woman’s refusal to loyally deal with those problems IS. The problem is not that there are not enough black men to go around: the problem, Mr. Crouch, is that the black man has been around one too many times.
Interestingly (but not surprisingly), you fail to incorporate the relatively recent waves that hip-hop and black culture have made in mainstream America. Walls have come down and a new generation is recognizing, with increasing frequency, that it is inane to foster our predecessor’s intolerances.
Your call for “new strategies and new attitudes” is admirable but infertile. Black women have been trumpeting that call for years now. The time is not now; it was yesterday.
Kind regards,
Irritated Black Woman
Posted 10 May 2005 at 2:36 pm ¶
SHEBA wrote:
Please. In response to original post. Many black women date outside their race because they actually like/love that person, not because of a black male shortage. Even though black males know there are way less males than females in the black community, they still abandon their children, disregard their health, commit crimes, date outside their race, disrespect females, smoke, drink, use drugs, sell drugs, and terrorize neighborhoods.
Posted 28 May 2005 at 2:52 pm ¶
Jackies Guy wrote:
I’m a 46 year old college and grad school educated white male who has spent 8 years in interacial relationships with black women, both American and foreign. I could easily date any type of woman I choose, but I can’t tell you how much I love the inner strength, breathtaking beauty and fierce determination I see in black women of all socio-economic classes. I’m a fan of the resilient human spirit and I find it inhabiting these fascinating sisters in ways that continue to fuel my desire to know and understand their culture and ways of thinking. I lost my wife, and the priceless love of my life a year ago; to me the most beautiful woman who ever walked on God’s earth, black or white. Sharing her life for the brief time we had has fueled in me the desire to know and understand her culture, to make a difference in healing the rifts in our two worlds. With her I learned how to love, to heal, to forgive and how to grow with her as one heart.
I’ve spent considerable time in pursuing the development of philosophical and intellectual constructs on interracial relationships, particularly white man/black women relationships. Frankly, I’m intrigued with the research, what little of it exists. While I acknowledge that your theories obviously have some merit, I feel you do to little justice to the fact that sometimes people simply love each other. Committed interracial relationships require courage in the face of societal rebuke, and those that survive must be strong to do so…so please do not forward the idea that black women are merely victims of a racial numbers game. Increasingly, they are using an inner strength gained through struggle to tell society that they will not be bound by bigotry, that they have the right to seek their own happiness, whether society approves or not. I see that strength every day, in black women who fight racism not in the media or through political action, but where it matters most; in the down and dirty of real life. Black women deserve the respect and admiration of both black and white men. White men are beginning to realize how much richness and value black women bring to relationships, and they are increasingly open to joining them in refusing to be told who we can and cannot choose to be with.
Are there relational tragedies inherent in the marginalization of black men? Absolutely and without question. Have those tragedies damaged their relationships with black women and impacted the numbers of black women seeking interracial relationships? There is no doubt. But black men must also follow the path their mothers and sisters have followed, rising above their struggles to stive for dignity and success by also offering the best they have to black women. Their mothers and sisters deserve their best. I believe black women will continue to seek respect, dignity and love, regardless of where they may find it. Real love cannot be explained by formulas, statistics and sociological theories. It simply…is.
Posted 21 Aug 2005 at 9:12 pm ¶
ronniebeasley wrote:
Please if you can ,foward a couples organization on professional married interracial couples over the age of 55. I am over 55, and my husband is also, and we want to meet other black women and white man husband and wife, too do things with like travel, dinner, and just kind of understand the struggles we sometime have as interracial married couples. My husband and I have PHD’s and would like to meet others on our level. Thanking you in advance for your kindness.
Posted 01 Nov 2005 at 8:02 pm ¶