I’ve spent considerable time in pursuing the development of philosophical and intellectual constructs on interracial relationships, particularly white man/black women relationships. Frankly, I’m intrigued with the research, what little of it exists. While I acknowledge that your theories obviously have some merit, I feel you do to little justice to the fact that sometimes people simply love each other. Committed interracial relationships require courage in the face of societal rebuke, and those that survive must be strong to do so…so please do not forward the idea that black women are merely victims of a racial numbers game. Increasingly, they are using an inner strength gained through struggle to tell society that they will not be bound by bigotry, that they have the right to seek their own happiness, whether society approves or not. I see that strength every day, in black women who fight racism not in the media or through political action, but where it matters most; in the down and dirty of real life. Black women deserve the respect and admiration of both black and white men. White men are beginning to realize how much richness and value black women bring to relationships, and they are increasingly open to joining them in refusing to be told who we can and cannot choose to be with.

Are there relational tragedies inherent in the marginalization of black men? Absolutely and without question. Have those tragedies damaged their relationships with black women and impacted the numbers of black women seeking interracial relationships? There is no doubt. But black men must also follow the path their mothers and sisters have followed, rising above their struggles to stive for dignity and success by also offering the best they have to black women. Their mothers and sisters deserve their best. I believe black women will continue to seek respect, dignity and love, regardless of where they may find it. Real love cannot be explained by formulas, statistics and sociological theories. It simply…is.

I am confounded by the ignorance you display in your May 9th editorial – A New Kind of Cross-Racial Dating. Your ascription of the increase in black women dating white men to “a man shortage” exposes the actual problem: a thinking-man shortage.

The tragic numbers detailing the black man’s incarceration and lack of education is not breaking news; the black woman’s success IN SPITE of those numbers IS. The black man’s infidelity and sexual promiscuity are not breaking news; the black woman’s refusal to loyally deal with those problems IS. The problem is not that there are not enough black men to go around: the problem, Mr. Crouch, is that the black man has been around one too many times.

Interestingly (but not surprisingly), you fail to incorporate the relatively recent waves that hip-hop and black culture have made in mainstream America. Walls have come down and a new generation is recognizing, with increasing frequency, that it is inane to foster our predecessor’s intolerances.

Your call for “new strategies and new attitudes” is admirable but infertile. Black women have been trumpeting that call for years now. The time is not now; it was yesterday.

Kind regards,
Irritated Black Woman

Both these diseases tend to develop in middle to later age (I know, diseases like Type II diabetes are rising in younger populations due to obesity, etc. but still…). Is there really such a spike in AA women/ EA men pairing up in their 50s? (Given, I do know such a couple, but most IR relationships I personally know of are in the under-50 set).

Most people don’t vet someone for personal health history on the first or even 5th date *(caveat for any communicables, of course).